Goals won’t improve my skills and strength, but hope... Hope can do fucking plenty and I have that.
I take the stairs to her apartment two at a time. By the time I reach her door, my ribs are agony, but I don’t give a shit. I ring the bell and run what I have to tell her through my mind over and over again.
Hey Pax, it’s true, I’m gonna fight Crusher but what if I win? You know, against the odds? Isn’t it great?
Fuck…
Before I can think of a better angle for my argument, the door opens and she’s there, dressed in a long white sweater that hits the middle of her bare thighs, tall blue stockings and her dark hair loose on her shoulders.
All the words vanish from my head, leaving me speechless.
God, she’s so fucking beautiful. Her dark eyes are shiny with tears and fear, and then she smiles at me and I lurch forward and grab her in my arms.
“Pax, Pax…” I whisper her name again and again, like a prayer. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t do it.” She draws back, and the tears are slipping down her cheeks. “Don’t fight. Please don’t.”
Oh fuck it. “I don’t have a choice, babe.”
“Why not?”
I pull her into the apartment, kick the door shut, and lead her to the sofa. I don’t see Corey anywhere. Looks like he hasn’t arrived yet, thank fuck.
This is between Pax and me.
I sink on the sofa, pulling her onto my lap, curl my arms around her. She rests her head on my chest, and I stroke her hair.
God, I wish we could stay like this forever.
“Is this connected to the guys who beat you up? You said they were people from your past. Your past at the fight club?”
“Yeah. They were delivering a message, about the Crusher being back in town to fight. They’ve been waiting for this to happen to set up a fight between me and him. It’s what I deserve, for walking out on the fight two years ago and letting Markus take my place and die.”
“Jesus, Riot.” She clutches at my T-shirt. “They can’t force you.”
“Yeah, they can.” I lick my lips, my mouth parched. “They’ll hurt people I care for. Kyle. Gale. You. No fucking way. I do this one thing they want, and I’m free.”
“How do you know you’ll be free?” But her face has paled. “How can you trust a single word they say?”
“Club code. The fight club boss has agreed to this, set this up. My blood for Markus’s blood. If I walk out of the fight alive, then they can’t touch me or the boss is bound to punish them.”
“If you walk out of it alive?” She curls her small fist and smacks my chest. “Good God, Riot! You can’t. You can’t go.”
But it’s too late. My past has caught up on me, sunk its hooks into my present.
“I have to, Pax. It’s the only way to be free. I won’t die.” I hesitate, because how can I promise that, though? “I’ll do all I can not to die. And if I win…”
I wince, and not just because Pax is pressing on my bruised side. As I ran here, everything seemed possible, but I’ve always called a spade a spade, and I can’t deny the odds are definitely not in my favor.
“Can you win?” she asks softly.
Yeah, that’s the billion dollar question. “Maybe. I’ve been training at the gym almost every day. I’m in good form.”
That’s true, at least.
“You don’t really believe it.”
Shit. “It doesn’t matter. But I can promise you this.” I grip her chin, lift her face until she’s looking right at me. “I won’t die. I’ll do everything in my power to stay alive.”