Hawk (Sex and Bullets 2)

“Goddammit, Hawk, I told my pilots to do whatever my guests ask of them. All of you know not to leave here. We talked about it. She knows the risks.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “It’s because we fought. She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you,” Raylin says, but that’s bull.

“She won’t tell anyone where we are,” I tell Storm, because I know this to be true. She’d never put us at risk, no matter how upset she is with me. “She just wanted to be as far away from me as possible.”

“Fucking hell. What did you do now?” Rook has this tired look on his face he always got when we were growing up, and I’d pull off something stupid. “Spill, bro.”

“Nothing, okay? We had an argument.”

“He told Layla he doesn’t believe the baby is his,” Raylin says, the traitor.

Silence spreads.

“The baby?” Storm stares at me as if I’m an impostor. “You knocked her up?”

“Yeah, well.” I glare back at all of them. “She told me she can’t have kids. And today she’s pregnant. I had a moment of confusion, okay?”

“Dude, she’s having your baby,” Rook says, “and instead of proposing with roses and shit, you argued with her?”

“Dammit, Rook.” I jab a finger at him. “Stop being a damn ass and put yourself in my place. She said she was on the pill. Then it turns out she wasn’t on the pill, because she can’t have kids. And then she’s pregnant.” I shoot to my feet and start pacing. “I lost it for a moment, okay? I was going back to apologize to her, and she’s gone. I can’t… Fuck.” I slam my fist into the wall. Then I slam it again and kick the wall for good measure. “Fuck this shit.”

Hands pull me away, and I struggle with them. The pain in my hand and foot felt good. My blood is burning in my veins.

“I fucked this up,” I snarl as Rook drags me to the sofa. “She left because I’m selfish. Because I’m paranoid. Because I can’t see a good thing when I have it. I didn’t tell her what she means to me. This is on me, goddammit. If anything happens to her or the baby…”

“Shut up, Hawk, and listen.” Storm gets in my face and grabs my shoulder, digging into bruises so hard I wince. “We’ll find her. I’m gonna call the chopper and tell them not to let her out, tell her you were being an idiot, that you’re on your knees begging her to come right back. Okay? It’ll be fine.”

I shake his hand off me and shove him backward. “Good,” is all I say, because hell, he’s right. Inside my head, I am on my knees, begging her to come back.

All I want is to have her back in my arms and make everything okay again.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Layla

During the short flight from Storm’s mansion back to Baltimore, I’m so nervous I’m nauseous. Fearing that at any moment the radio will crackle to life and Storm will demand that the chopper return. That the pilots will tell me they’re sorry, but they can’t let me get out of the chopper after all and that we’re going back.

Back where Hawk is. Hawk who is pissed off that I’m having his baby. Who doesn’t believe everything I told him. Who thinks I want money from him and that I’m playing a game.

I wrap one arm over my stomach protectively and start when I realize I’ve done it. This is crazy. Don’t know how much more of this joy mixed with sadness I can take. Never thought I’d have a baby with Hawk. Never thought I’d fall for Hawk so completely.

Never thought he’d break my heart so utterly.

It’s not Dorothy I want to see. Not my mom I want to talk to. It’s him.

But he doesn’t trust me. Doesn’t love me, although he talked about dating, and a family. He was the one lying. He lied to me. He pretended to want me.

Why? Was he just toying with me? After all we went through this week?

It feels like years have passed. I feel old. I feel tired.

I miss him already, miss what I thought had sparked between us, and if I don’t distract myself I’ll start bawling. How would I explain that to the chopper pilots?

Thank God, we’re soon landing on top of the Jordan Tower, on a small helipad, and the younger pilot hops out and helps me down. He takes a plastic name tag that simply says GUEST of JORDAN ENTERPRISES

on it and passes it to me.