Marriage of Unconvenience

“Cara Lynne Simms, will you marry me so we can both get at my grandmother’s money?” She held out her hand and I slid the ring on her left hand.

“Yes, Loren Alyssa Bowman, I will marry you to get at your grandmother’s money.” I heard someone cheering and Cara went beet red. She immediately sat down and hid her face with her hands.

“You said this wasn’t going to be in public,” she said through her hands.

“I didn’t think anyone was paying attention. No one in Boston is usually paying attention to anyone else.” She let her hands drop and looked around to make sure no one was staring. No one was. They’d all gone back to their own business.

“Give me my candy,” she said, holding her hands out.

“Fine, fine. I worked for like, an hour on this proposal. I mean, I wrote down a bunch of ideas that I scrapped and decided to do this instead, but still. I worked on this.” Cara got the bag of coconut jelly beans open and crammed a few in her mouth and grinned at me.

“You did good. Now I have to do something better. I can’t let you top me.” I cringed at the jelly beans and pulled out a chocolate bar that had caramel and nuts in it.

“You don’t have to propose. I didn’t have to do it, but I figured I would, since we had the rings and all. No pressure. I need to contact the guy who is in charge of the account and let him know that I’m getting married so he better be working on getting me a check. I know he’s going to want to see the marriage certificate, so we’ll probably have to fax him a copy or something. But as soon as I have the check? Cha-ching!” I devoured the rest of the candy bar and went for the cheese and crackers.

“We should have a toast,” Cara said, opening the wine. “Do you have any glasses?” Shit, I’d forgotten something else.

“I really needed you to help me plan this. I’m a mess without you.” Cara took a swig from the wine bottle and passed it to me.

“We don’t need cups, see?”

I smiled at her and sipped from the bottle. We could always make it work.

“No, we don’t need cups. Here’s not needing cups, and marrying for money.” I raised the bottle and had a sip before passing it back to her.

“Here, here,” she said before drinking from the bottle as well.

“This is really nice, Lo,” she said, leaning back and grabbing some cheese. “You did a good job. And you didn’t have to. We didn’t need to do the rings. But I can’t help but feel good that it’s on my finger. It’s so pretty.” She held out her hand and tipped it back and forth to watch the shine.

“Now you’re making me jealous.” I looked down at my left hand that didn’t have a ring on it.

“You’ll get yours. Now that I know what’s expected of me.” I waved her off. I hoped she didn’t do anything too outlandish. We just needed to get our asses to the courthouse and get this done. Honestly, I had no idea how to even get married. Could we just go and do it? I had no idea. I should probably figure that out ASAP.

“Can we just go and get married whenever, or do we have to do something else? People go to Vegas and do it, right?” She shook her head.

“No. I’m not sure about Massachusetts law, but we probably have to get a marriage license and then wait for a few days before we go to the courthouse.” Damn. That sucked.

“Ugh. Well, we should do that next week, right?”

Cara nodded and looked at the grass.

“I know this is fake and everything, but...” She sighed and looked up at me.

“But what?” Panic had struck me like a speeding train.

“But I kind of want to... do it. Like, have a pretty dress and a bouquet. I don’t need bridesmaids and a reception and all that, but I was picturing going to the courthouse in regular clothes and it just doesn’t seem right. Is that okay? You can wear whatever you want, but I guess I want that little bit of ceremony.” She looked so guilty for wanting that and I couldn’t stand it.

I leaned over and hugged her.

“Care, you can wear a dinosaur suit if you want to. I don’t give a flying fuck. And if you want a bouquet? I’ll get you the best damn bouquet ever.” I already knew what she’d want in her bouquet because I knew all her favorite flowers.