Marriage of Unconvenience

At last the coffee brewed and then I was saved by the sound of the doorbell, and ran downstairs to get the food from the delivery person. I grabbed the bags and headed back up the stairs, hoping against hope that Cara would be covered.

She was back in bed sipping coffee and sighing happily.

“Food’s here,” I said, holding up the bags.

“Thank goodness. We ate so much food, but now I’m hungry enough to eat these blankets. Can we eat in bed? It seems like a newlywed thing to do.” I didn’t want to rain on her parade, and I’d give her literally anything she wanted, so I said, “great idea.”

We spread the food out and I just decided I was going to do laundry after we inevitably spilled something. Biscuits and gravy wasn’t exactly a clean food to eat.

Cara sat cross-legged facing me with the food between us.

“There’s seven strips of bacon, wanna split them so we each have three and a half?” she asked me.

“You can have four pieces and I’ll have three,” I said, but Cara shook her head.

“No way. We’re married now, we split everything evenly, including bacon.” That made me smile. My face felt like it was cracking apart like stone.

“Well, that’s definitely a marriage perk,” I said, grabbing one of the pieces of bacon and shoving it into my mouth. The smoky saltiness revived me and then I attacked the biscuits, covering them with a rich layer of sausage gravy.

“I needed this,” I said with my mouth full.

“Seriously,” Cara said, gravy dripping down her chin. I used my thumb to wipe the gravy off her chin and then licked the excess off my finger.

She had stopped eating and was staring at me the way she had when I’d done her makeup yesterday. Had that only been a day ago? We had lived about a week’s worth of days since then. At least.

“You okay?” I asked, and she just swallowed and looked down at the food.

“Yeah, fine. Just tired.” A few moments ago she’d been bouncing and bubbling off the walls, so I didn’t buy that. What was going on with her?

I went back to my biscuits and let it drop. I didn’t want to push her. Was she regretting the wedding and the marriage? The idea that she would even regret it a little bit made me feel like I was being stabbed. I couldn’t handle being one of Cara’s regrets.

“You’re not... having second thoughts?” I said, not meeting her eyes.

“About what? The biscuits? Ask me in an hour.” She smiled and I shook my head.

“No, not the biscuits. The wedding and the marriage and everything.” I didn’t know what to do if she said yes. It would break me.

“Of course not. Are you? I mean, we haven’t even been married for twenty-four hours.” The rush of relief was so intense, I thought I was going to cry. I’d had too many emotions in the past day. I needed a break for at least a month.

“Of course not,” I said.

Cara’s eyes narrowed.

“Apple pie promise?”

“Apple pie promise. Speaking of that, we have apple pie. If you want some.” Cara put her hand on her stomach and pouted.

“I ate too much, I think. Maybe that second biscuit was a mistake, but I couldn’t let it sit there all alone. It looked so sad. So I had to eat it.” Cara tossed the remains of her breakfast in the bag and I added my trash.

“That was perfect,” I said, laying back. Cara stretched out next to me.

“You gonna stay dressed like that all day?” I asked.

“Why do you keep pestering me about what I’m wearing? Does it bother you? You’ve seen me in a bathing suit for days on end, Lo.” Intellectually, I knew that a bathing suit and underwear were basically the same, but my brain also told me that underwear was so much more intimate. Personal. It had connotations that weren’t about friendship.

“I know. It’s fine,” I said. Cara turned to the side.

“Does it bother you? I can put something on...” She started to get up and I reached out to stop her.

“No, it’s fine. You can wear whatever you want, Care. It’s your body and your clothes.”

“Okay,” she said, but she didn’t sound convinced. I got up and took the trash out to the kitchen and got my second round of coffee. How was I going to deal with Cara being here all the time? Probably in her underwear. Why was this such a big deal?