Two weeks ago I wasn’t doing anything illegal and potentially lethal.
Now I’m about to and I should keep Audrey out of it. Out of my fucked up life.
Now if only she leaves before I get out of this goddamn bathroom, I might just be able to hold on to this new resolution.
***
Audrey is still there. I hear her voice as soon as I exit the bathroom, and I stall, my treacherous body reacting as if it’s been struck with a live wire. A shiver runs down my spine and I harden, remembering the kiss, the feel of her lips, her sweet taste, her soft body pressed against mine.
Fucking hell.
I reach down to adjust myself and suck in breath after breath, trying to get my dick to back down.
Down, boy. Not for you.
Yeah...
Why isn’t she leaving? Haven’t I been nasty enough to her? Why did she stick around?
Maybe she hasn’t come for me. Maybe it was her friend, this punk chick, who brought her along. Yeah, that makes sense. This girl, Dakota, is obviously hot for Zane, and probably dragged Audrey along, against her will.
And why the hell does the thought disappoint me? Haven’t I just decided Audrey should keep away from me? That it’s good she hates me?
I’m fucked up in the head.
Straightening my aching back, I force myself to move, go back to where the others are sitting. I lean on the doorjamb, looking at them. At the sofa.
My living quarters, where I can never be alone or have any privacy. I have no belongings, no door to shut when I feel like it.
One day, I tell myself. I’ll see my plan through, and I’ll earn enough to have a place of my own, hell, a room of my own, like any normal person. A car to move about. The right to order pizza late at night if I want to.
A safe place where I can lock the door and sleep peacefully. Something that’s becoming rare these days. I can’t count the times I woke up drenched in cold sweat. I keep seeing myself opening the door to the house and knowing a punch is coming for me. Or finding myself on the floor, unable to move as pain lances through me, knowing I’m going to die.
“Ash.” Zane comes to where I’m leaning on the doorframe, grabs my arm and drags me into the living room. I let him manhandle me because I don’t trust myself to jerk away. I think if I move a single muscle, I might start punching people.
I have to calm down.
So I let Zane shove me down on the sofa and push a drink into my hands. Cold, wet. A beer. I clasp it reflexively.
Dakota is perched on the armrest of the sofa and Audrey sits in the armchair. Apart from me. At a distance.
Good. Better for her. I have to believe that but, god, it’s tough when she’s right here and I’m looking straight at her.
I force my gaze down to my sweating beer bottle and swallow. Damn, I’m hard. Again.
Shit.
I keep my bottle in a strategic position, hiding as much as I can, and try to think of other stuff to will the erection away. Like my history teacher’s face from high school. My lack of money and what I’m about to do to fix that. My father’s fists.
Okay, that last thought kills my erection in two seconds flat, making it a new record.
“Earth to Ash.” Zane is waving a hand in front of my face. When did he sit beside me? “Did you hear what Audrey said?”
“What?” I frown at my beer, not sure I want to know.
“She says she’s inviting you over for Christmas.”
I shake my head. I can’t be hearing well.