Of course, I say yes.
***
It’s on Sunday morning, a week after Rafe was released from the hospital, that Dakota drops by to take his drums for repair. I found them slashed, and when asked about it, he admitted he’d done it that same night he stepped in front of a car and almost ended it all.
If I’d known he was in such a dark place that day… My chest hurts just thinking about it.
“So you moved in?” Dakota asks, her blue eyes wide as she enters the living room of Rafe’s apartment and sees my boxes by the sofa and Raf the Amazing Kitten curled on a cushion.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “Rafe asked me to, two days after we returned from the hospital.”
I didn’t have that much to pack. Just my clothes, shoes, a few books, and Raf. I wonder what happened to Raylin, and vow to do a search for her online as soon as things settle down, even if just to find a way to contact her and let he know what a bitch she is for leaving without an explanation.
“That’s awesome! I’m so glad you and Rafe
are together.” Dakota beams at me. “I mean, you’re happy, right?”
“Of course I am!” I clap a hand over my mouth. “Crap.”
She frowns. “Why are we whispering?”
“Rafe’s sleeping.”
“Oops, sorry,” Dakota whispers. “How is he doing?”
“Much better. Hey, want a coffee?” I tug her toward the kitchen when she nods and seat her at the table as I set the coffee machine. “The painkillers they gave him for his ribs are pretty strong and knock him out. Then again, he needs the sleep, so…” I shrug. Rafe said he’ll stop the painkillers today. He’s too scared to get addicted again. “He hasn’t been to work or college. Hasn’t been out of the apartment, really.”
“But…” She blinks at me. “But he’s better?”
“I think so. He looks more rested.”
“And his balance? All that crap the docs were worried about?”
“He’s fine. Probably wasn’t a concussion after all.” I smile as I pour two mugs of coffee. “Milk?” I ask.
“No. Just some sugar, if you got any.”
I add the sugar, sit across from her and slide her mug over. “Here you go.”
She blows on her coffee. Her nose ring glints. “Have you been to see Ash and Audrey’s baby? He’s frigging cute.”
“Not yet.”
Her eyes narrow. “Because of Rafe, or because for some reason you don’t want to share you’re scared to go?”
I choke on my coffee. “Shit. You don’t beat around the bush, do you?”
She sighs. “Sorry. I know it’s none of my business. I’m just curious.”
“It’s sort of a long story.”
“Have you ever heard of summarizing?” She winces. “Sorry. I’m in a mood today.”
“No worries.” Can I summarize my pain and guilt and regrets, compress it into a sentence or two? “My mom was pregnant. That was over a year ago. I’ve always wished for a brother or sister. See, we moved around a lot, Mom changed boyfriends like panties, and I never had anyone to play with, talk to, share my thoughts with.” I stare into my mug, draw a long breath. “Mom’s boyfriends were always assholes, but this last one… He’s a piece of work. He kicked Mom, beat her, until she started to bleed. She was already in her seventh month. There was so much blood.”
Bile rises in my throat. “And he wouldn’t stop beating her, even when I screamed and tried to pull him off her. He punched me, then pushed me and I hit the wall so hard I must have passed out for a bit. Next thing I know, he’s gone and Mom is lying in a pool of blood.” I swallow thickly. “I called an ambulance, but it was too late. The baby died. Mom barely made it.”
“Oh crap.” When I look up, I find Dakota’s eyes huge. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have made you tell me this.”