Because Zane’s memories are godawful, I remind myself. Scary as hell. That’s why. I don’t need more reasons to feel terrified for him. Uncovering the details will be like shooting ourselves repeatedly in the chest with jagged bullets.
Maybe this is just a taste of what it feels like to him.
***
“You girls all ready for the double wedding?” I ask as we head out to the nearby park for the kids to play in the small playground. “The gowns are lovely, but have you made up your minds on the place, the party, the music?”
“Pretty much,” Megan says, smiling, pushing the stroller in front of her, the sun on her face. “Audrey took over and made most of the decisions, thank God. I think it will be fun, after the stress of organizing it is over.”
“I bet. I’m so happy for you, guys.” I walk quietly for a moment, watching Miles run after Jax and Teo, making snarling noises. I think he’s supposed to be a zombie. “We’ll dance the night away.”
Erin is holding her baby in her arms, wrapped in a white blanket. “If we’re able to stay awake long enough to dance, that is. Hopefully the babies will sleep through the night.”
“I didn’t think about that when Rafe proposed.” Megan snickers. “I was pregnant, and I was so emotional I cried for like an hour after he did. He almost took it back, he thought I was upset.”
Audrey laughs. Scott is sprawled in his stroller, fast asleep, and she strokes the dark hair from his face. “And how did Rafe propose? I’m curious.”
“Yes, do tell,” Dakota chimes in, glancing up from where she’s straightening the blanket over Emmanuel in his sky-blue stroller.
r /> My ears perk. I step slightly closer. Which is weird. Since when do I care about how guys propose to their future wives?
“He did the sweetest thing…” Megan starts, then stops again.
We’ve slowed down, all of us looking at her.
“It was so funny. I had completely freaked out when I found out we were expecting, and it took me days to calm down. He was amazing.” Megan shakes her head, biting her lip. “He held me, promised me it would all turn out okay. That it would be great. And then… Then, one morning he went to get us donuts for breakfast, and when he got back he handed me a gift.”
“So what was in it?” I’m almost dancing with excitement. Holy crap. “Was it a ring?”
“No, it was an onesie.” At my surprised look, she laughs. “A white onesie, and on it was written in black, ‘Marry the Daddy?’ I melted.”
“And the ring?”
“He had it in his pocket. What about Zane?” She turns to Dakota. “You never told us how it happened. One day we’re being told there would be a wedding and that was it.”
“It was a fun wedding,” Dakota says, and a shadow of sadness passes over her face.
“Hey, girl.” Erin nudges her. “Everything will turn out okay in the end, you’ll see.”
She nods. Plasters on a bright smile. “I wasn’t pregnant when he proposed, though by the time of the wedding, well…” She blushes. “Anyway, we’d talked about it a few times before. Getting married. Having kids. And then one evening he came home and showed me a new ink he’d gotten on his chest. Over the dragon there. It was a heart, and it had my name over it, and below… below he said he’d ink the names of our kids. And he asked if we could start making a family.”
Gosh. I have tears in my eyes.
“That’s beautiful,” Erin whispers.
“How did Tyler propose to you?” Megan shoots her a bright, star-filled look, and I find myself waiting for the reply, breathless.
God, this is like being hooked on a TV series. Like the Gilmore Girls, or something. I almost feel it, the giddiness, the childish joy of having that happen to you.
I’ve never been the kind of girl to plan my future wedding, design my wedding gown and decide on names for my children—but my Barbie dolls did get married all the time. Not to brag but they had some damn amazing weddings.
I mean, a wedding proposal is the thing you’d expect after finding the love of your life. A celebration of love.
“Tyler,” Erin says, “likes things in order. His OCD is much better now, but it’ll never go completely away. And that’s okay. When I arrange his socks by color and make sure all book spines face one way, it’s worth it, seeing him relaxed. So he had apparently organized everything when he decided to propose. He’d reserved a table at my favorite restaurant, had arranged for a band to play the Star Wars theme as background and bought me a silver engagement ring with the Millennium Falcon.”
I blink. “The what?”
“Seriously? Star Wars theme?” Audrey gapes.