Jesse (Damage Control 2)
Page 107
Like a physical blow, her words knock the air out of my lungs. “Don’t do this, Em— Amber.” I wince. It doesn’t feel right, calling her anything but Embers.
“When you were late picking me up that night…” She isn’t looking at me. Her hand is white-knuckled on the handle of her purse. “Were you with another girl? With Cassie?”
The fuck? “No, I wasn’t. You want the truth? I went to testify against the guy who cut me up all those years ago. The one I told you about.”
Her eyes skip to my tattooed arm, then back to the street. “Why would you do that after all this time?”
“Because he’s been beating my friends up.” And because you gave me strength. “It’s a turf war, or drug war. I don’t know, and I don’t care. I only want him behind fucking bars.”
She flinches, and I sigh, not sure what to do.
“I wouldn’t cheat on you. I don’t want Cassie.” I shove my hands into my pockets. “Hell, I don’t want any other girl but you. Don’t you get it?”
There. My fucking heart laid out on the chopping board. Fuck caution. Fuck not opening up.
“Get it? Get what?” she whispers, and her eyes look damp. “Come on, Jesse, what are the chances of Cassie falling on your mouth all on her own? Tell me.”
Her lips tremble, and I feel like an asshole, even if this isn’t my fault.
“She’s been trying to get me to sleep with her for a while. She came on to me. And she did it on purpose.”
“How can I believe you?”
“Why shouldn’t you believe me?” I feel ice coming into my voice. I wish it could fill my veins, dull my senses. “Why the hell not?”
“I have to go.” Her bus is arriving, and she’s already moving forward. Leaving me.
“I didn’t kiss her, Embers.” To hell with that. She’s Embers to me. Only to me. “I’d never kiss any girl but you.”
“Goodbye,” she whispers, gets on the bus and goes.
I stomp away, not even knowing where I’m going, shaking all over. I fucked up. I don’t know how, but it’s my fault yet again.
What did I do wrong? I haven’t as much as glanced at another girl. Other girls hold no interest for me anymore.
I thought when she stopped snapping at me and calling me names, when she kissed me back and held me, that I’d turn tail and run. So why isn’t it happening? Why do I want her more than ever?
I need her. I miss her. I fucking love her.
Love her. The realization hits me and I bend over for a second. Fuck. When they say you fall in love, I never thought it really felt that way, like falling. Like crashing from up high.
I blink dazedly at the busy street. I love Amber. Shouldn’t it feel more like flying? Where are the rainbows and shooting stars? Why does it hurt so much?
I’d give my soul to be with her. In fact, I think I already have.
Chapter Nineteen
Amber
He’s holding me in his arms, kissing me. His skin is silky soft where we touch, muscles shifting and bulging as he rolls me under him, his warm lips moving from my mouth to my jaw, trailing hot kisses down my neck. Between my legs, his hard-on is an insistent pressure that sends fire to my core.
“Embers…” he whispers, his hips rocking, and he slides into me. “Need you, Embers…”
I need you, too, I want to say, but I can’t speak. Not when he’s sinking into me, a delicious burn and stretch, his hot length sliding deep, filling me up. Need you.
Love you, JJ.
I want to cry, because something’s wrong. He can’t be here. He’s not here. I can’t let him in again, can’t hold him inside me, or in my arms, because…