I trail my hands over his chest, down his yummy six-pack, but before I reach my destination below his belt, he crushes our mouths together again, grinding his erection into me.
Oh yeah, this… this feels perfect. I just need to get his pants down and—
With a groan, he rips himself away and off me. He stumbles off the bed and into the chair, sending it crashing and our clothes tumbling to the floor.
“Shane.” I sit up, trying to untangle my thoughts, tear them apart from the burning need making my insides clench. “It’s okay.”
“No, it fucking isn’t.” He leans against the wall, his jaw clenched tight. “I can’t even fucking kiss you without freaking out. Goddammit.”
“I can wait.” I lick my swollen, kiss-stung lips, tasting him on them. “Let’s sleep. It’s late. We can talk tomorrow.”
“What’s there to talk about? I’m a lost cause, Cassie.”
“Cass. Call me Cass.” I slide my legs off the bed, stand up. I walk over to him, slowly, and slip an arm around him. He doesn’t look like he’s having a flashback, so I wonder what this is about. “We don’t have to do anything. Not right now. Not tonight.”
“But I want to.” He sounds frustrated. He pulls me against him. “I want to. With you.”
Oh God, me too. Can’t he tell? Can’t he read on my face everything I try to hide?
“What can I do?”
He doesn’t reply. I’m not even sure he heard me, but after a while he turns his gaze back to me.
“Seth held me together when my mom died,” he mutters, rubbing at his chest, at the date inked there, and now I know what it is.
The date of her death. It’s his memorial to her.
“He pulled me out of that funk,” he goes on, “only for us to be dragged into prison soon after. And after that, even he couldn’t help me. Nobody can, Cass.”
God, the pain in his voice is killing me. But I’m not the type to give up easily.
“Come back to bed.” An idea is forming inside my mind, and it’s probably crazy, but he won’t talk, and I have to start from somewhere. I’m winging it here, but he says he wants me, so… “Lie down with me.”
“And then what?”
“Then you show me how you jack off.”
Chapter Nine
Shane
“Cass.” What the fuck? My ears are ringing. Has to be why I thought I heard… “What did you say?”
She’s tugging me back toward the bed like a small, sexy heat-seeking missile. I’m too tired to dig in my heels, to stop this train wreck from happening.
Too tired to resist her. Fucking exhausted. Especially since I don’t want to resist her, dammit. I want her more than a drug, more than pain. More than anything I’ve ever wanted. The blood is still humming in my veins, in my dick, despite my fear.
Her hand is small but strong in mine, and the thought of kissing her again, of touching her, sends a searing bolt of need in my gut.
“Is this okay?” she asks, pulling until I sit down beside her on my bed. Her gaze moves from my face down to my bare chest, dark and hot, and the need intensifies, my dick so hard I open my legs to give it some room.
Okay? Yeah, I’m okay. I want to grab her and fuck her across the mattress, but I nod.
“Do you trust me?” Her fingers trail up my forearm, tracing the scars, and I flinch, but don’t pull away.
She knows. She knows and she’s still here.
In reply, I lean in, grip her face, kiss her. Back where we started.