My mouth hangs open. Christ. “Screw you, Tyler.” I hop off the desk. “Leave. Leave me alone, like you did in the past. Shouldn’t be too difficult for you.”
A flash of pain goes through his eyes. “Right.”
Goddammit. “I just need to know what happened,” I whisper. Zane said not to push him, but he’s hot and cold, looking at me like he needs me, then pushing me away. “Back then…” I lick my lips and shift my legs, the throbbing inside me a reminder of what he’s just done to me. “I thought you cared about me, despite our fights. Did you leave because of them?”
This has been my greatest fear—that I drove him away with my crazy bitch behavior back then.
But he shakes his head. “No.”
I draw a shuddering breath. Just like that, he’s taken the guilt I’ve been carrying for years and crushed it. The kindness throws me off kilter and pokes holes into my angry armor, leaving behind only the pain and sorrow.
“Then why?” I ask. “Please, tell me.”
“I can’t. I don’t want to talk—” He cuts with his hand through the air, as if to disperse an image, and grimaces as if in pain. Then he turns and kicks at the armchair and slams his fist into the wall.
I’m frozen in place. I didn’t expect such anguish. It tears at me, claws at my heart. “Okay, Tyler. Hey.” I step toward him, reaching out, and he stops, a fist pressed to the wall. His panting is harsh. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” I repeat the words over and over again until I touch him and take his fisted hands in mine.
He’s frowning, but his eyes are empty, as if he’s not here with me. As if his mind is somewhere else.
Someone knocks at the door, and he twitches, turning to glance at it. I tug on his hands, but it’s like trying to move a rock wall.
“Guys? Everything okay? Erin?” Rafe calls from outside, and Tyler’s shoulders slump minutely.
“We’re fine!” I call back. “Be out in a sec.”
Tyler looks down at my hands over his as if he just noticed. “Have to go back,” he mumbles, pulls his hands free and turns to go without another word, leaving me sick with guilt, sad and angry.
“What happened to you?” I whisper. The boy I knew used to bring me little presents. He even brought me a puppy once that he found abandoned on the street. We both liked science fiction movies and watched them together, curled up on my parents’ couch. He was happy, grinning and cracking jokes. Teasing me.
Well, until the last months before he left, until he started disappearing for days on end, like a preview of what would happen later for good.
Taking a step back, I sink into the armchair. With my face in my hands, I try to sort through my feelings. He came to talk to me in my car. He kissed me and… My insides clench again with aftershocks of pleasure at the memory.
And then he shut me out again.
I put my trembling hands down. Picking up my panties, I pull them on. What in the world is going on? This isn’t like Tyler.
Unless he changed all the way to the bone. What if he has? What if Zane’s right, and something happened to him, something so bad it broke him? And who can tell me if not Tyler himself?
Well, there’s one other person who might know. The one person who doesn’t want to see my face in a million years.
Asher.
Crap.
Okay, so I’ll talk to Asher, even if it kills me, and I… I have an idea. I need to find out whether Tyler has really turned into an asshole, or if he’s just playing a game, pushing me away so he doesn’t have to talk about the past.
He says all he wants from me is sex. So what if I give him exactly what he says he wants? See if he likes it.
It’s my move now. My decision. I’m taking control.
It’s also the perfect way to see those scars Zane mentioned. But God… If Tyler breaks my heart again, I’m not sure I can put it back together a second time.
Chapter Nine
Tyler
I fucked up again. Pushed Erin away, let my need for her take over, override what she wanted from me. But I can’t help it. She’s under my skin, especially lately, as I can’t sleep and have lost what little control I had over myself. I can’t let her see what a wreck I am. I must push her away, before she breaks me all over again.