Nothing happens for a long moment, and I realize I never considered that he may not be in a condition to get up and open for me.
Crap.
Then I hear steps and the lock clicks. The door swings open, and he’s standing there, looking pale, distressed and gorgeous as ever. His arm is braced on the doorjamb, and I can’t help but take in his muscled upper body, clearly outlined in his soaked T-shirt.
His breathing is still ragged and shallow. Sweat glimmers on his face, and he has dark shadows under his eyes. He’s staring at me as if adjusting the lenses, trying to focus my image.
“Erin,” he whispers and his voice is so scratchy it hurts. I’m so mad at him. And I love him.
I reach up and cup his unshaven cheek, rubbing my fingertips on the rough stubble. “Feeling better?”
His dark eyes widen, making his face look even paler. His breath smells of peppermint as if he’s just brushed his teeth.
Without a reply or a warning, he slides his hands around the small of my back, hauling me closer, until I’m pressed against the length of his muscled body and his nose is buried in my hair. He’s not aroused, and there’s nothing sexual about it, but it feels good to hear his heartbeat, steady if a little too fast.
“Did something happen?” I murmur against his shoulder, inhaling his smell of clean male sweat. “Did you meet with your brother again?”
He growls softly as he releases me and steps back. “I did. But he didn’t punch me this time, if that’s what you’re asking.”
I shake my head. These boys confuse the hell out of me. “I wasn’t.” I touch his arm. “You’re drenched in sweat. And it’s freaking cold in here.” I frown when I notice the open windows. I gesture at them. “Are you nuts? It must be below zero out there.”
He shrugs and rubs the back of his neck. “I needed air.”
“Mind if I close them?” I shiver, even though I’m still wrapped in my jacket. “You’ll get sick.”
Call me paranoid; call me a mother hen. After having Jax, worrying about such things has become second nature.
I hurry to the window and close it. “You should see a doctor.”
His mouth flattens and his shoulders tense. “Don’t need no doctor.”
I blow a strand of hair out of my face as I move to close the second window. “What if you do? It’s a miracle you didn’t die from stopping those pills. You need to get yourself checked out. Besides, maybe a doctor can help with the panic attacks.”
“Prescribe me something?” There’s a sneer in Tyler’s raspy voice, and his words stop me cold. I glance at him over my shoulder. I didn’t think of it that way.
He closes and locks the apartment door, his back to me, his messy dark hair more tangled than usual. He stands for a long moment there, then he pushes off and turns toward me.
For a fleeting second, his gaze is vulnerable, full of regrets. It’s too much.
He crosses the room as I latch the window, his bare feet whispering on the tiles. God, isn’t he freezing?
“You still haven’t told me what happened today,” I remind him.
“Went by my d— Jake Devlin’s house.” He stops right behind me and puts a hand on the window frame by my head, trapping me. His chest presses against my back. “Had to revisit some memories.”
“What memories? Wait a minute...” I turn around and look up to meet his gaze. Boy has almost a head on me. “Did you go back where...?” I can’t even say it—that basement where he was hurt so badly. Whenever I remember the story Rafe recounted, my blood runs cold.
He nods, a vein pulsing in his jaw. “I had to face it. I thought I wouldn’t dream of it again if I went back and forced my brain to accept I’m not there anymore.”
Oh God. He’s breaking my heart all over again. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going? I’d have come with you.”
“I don’t want you to see that. None of that.” He frowns. “I had Ash with me. It helped.”
No matter how happy I am his relationship with Asher seems to be on the mend, I wish I was the one there for him. I wish things weren’t that complicated between us. But he has to get this, at least:
“No matter what it is, good or bad.” I poke a finger into the solid muscles of his chest. “No matter if I’m mad at you for whatever reason, I’ll help you in any way I can. Remember that.”
He inhales deeply. His breathing has settled into a slower rhythm. “I will. Erin...” He brushes a strand of hair off my face. “I’ve never lied to you. What I wrote to you is true.”