His sharp intake of breath echoes in the empty shop. “Got me there, buddy. Been there all right.”
Damn. I rub the back of my neck, not knowing what to say.
Rafe sighs and claps me on the shoulder. “Just don’t you fucking stop, right? Don’t give up. It’ll get better over time.”
I nod. “How long?”
“Long.” His gaze is now hard. “What were you on, Xanax? Valium?”
“Both.” And other stuff I can’t even remember.
“How long?”
I inhale. “Years. But I lowered the dose in the months before I stopped.”
“Yeah, okay. No matter. First six weeks should be hell. After that, it all depends on how your body reacts. You may have symptoms for years, though not as bad as now.”
“Fuck.”
“You wanted to know.” He rubs his eyes with his thumb. They’re red. “You can live through this. It’ll get better. Remember that.”
Not reassured, I nod again and go to grab my jacket. When I pull it on and turn to Rafe, I find his gaze has gone kinda vacant.
“Hey, Rafe, you sure you’ll be okay?”
“Worried about me now?” He gives himself a little shake and shoots me a crooked grin. “I’ll be fine, just tired. Going to meet Erin?”
“No. Meeting Ash for a drink. Wanna come?”
“Not tonight. Anoth
er time.” He tucks a strand of blond hair behind his ear, the many hoops there glinting. “You and Erin go way back, don’t you?”
“High school.”
“She’s one awesome chick. And she’s really into you, man.”
“Not so sure about that right now,” I blurt. “And I can’t blame her. With everything I’ve got going on, why would she…?” I snap my mouth shut. Dammit.
Rafe’s eyes have narrowed. “Just take it slow with her, man. Give her time.”
I let out a breath. “Listen... I gotta go.” I zip up my jacket. “Will you close shop, or should I wait for you?”
“I’ll do it. Go catch up with Asher. He’s a good guy.”
A smile tugs at my lips. “Yeah, he’s the best. Call me if you need anything.”
He doesn’t move from his spot in front of the desk as I open the door to the street, but I think I hear him mutter, “Nobody can help.”
But when I pause and turn toward him, he isn’t looking my way.
***
“You say Rafe looked off?” Ash frowns at me over his beer bottle. “You sure?”
I shrug. I don’t know what to say. I’m kinda out of my element here—actually sitting to talk with someone, and that someone is my brother who may or may not have forgiven me.
“You’re good friends?” I finally ask.