I totally agree. Jeez, I can’t catch my breath.
“Kay...” He sits up and reaches up to touch my face. His eyes gleam for a second, right before he leans in to kiss me. “Wish I could stay,” he whispers against my lips.
Back up. What? Where is he going?
Before I can ask, his hand grips my chin, and his tongue plunges into my mouth, setting me again on fire. Then he draws back, this thumb stroking my lips, his gaze hot and heavy-lidded. “Thank you for everything. For helping me out with Jason, for the muffin the other day, for letting me touch you. I’ll never forget you.”
I’m hypnotized, unable to think of a reply to that. It’s because of the way he looks at me, I think. Like I’m beautiful. Like he means every word he says.
But he’s leaving, and wherever he’s going, it’s obvious he thinks he’s not coming back.
***
“Hey. Hi.” It’s Saturday morning, and I’m pacing my living room, my cell pressed to my ear. “Sorry to bother you with this, it’s probably nothing, but is Ocean there with you?”
“Just a sec,” Micah says, music blaring in the background. He’s at Damage Control, where DeathMoth is rehearsing for the convention next week. “Too loud in here.”
“No problem. I tried to get ahold of Jesse and Amber, but they’re both MIA.”
Haven’t seen Ocean since yesterday morning. After he kissed me and told me he’d never forget me, he shut himself up in the bathroom to shower, avoiding me. And by the time he finally emerged, distracting me with the tiny towel wrapped around his lean hips and all that muscled flesh and inked skin in display, it was time for me to leave for class.
I told him we had to talk. I asked him what he’d meant. I promised I’d just listen. I had to know.
He said nothing, his expression shuttered, closed off.
And he wouldn’t answer his phone when I tried it yesterday evening.
Maybe I should finally make up my mind and stop thinking about him. Man, if only it were that easy…
“All clear. Go,” Micah says at the other side of the line. “What’s up? You sound worried.”
I am.
Also, the cards were vaguely sinister. The Hanged Man of the Major Arcana—signifying sacrifice. The Ten of Swords of the Minor Arcana, signifying defeat, loss, and endings. Swords do come up a lot when I try to read Ocean.
And okay, I also got the Ace of Cups for compassion and love, but still.
“Kay?”
“It’s about Ocean,” I say.
“What about our sunny boy?”
See? That’s what I’m talking about. These past couple of weeks he’s been anything but.
“Something’s off. He isn’t acting like himself lately, and he’s been talking about…”
Micah huffs. “Talking about what?”
“About leaving.”
My rainbow stockings slide on the carpet with each step as I continue my frantic pacing. It’s a little like skating. Like losing control of the wheel.
That’s how I feel, and I can’t calm down. Not until someone tells me how ridiculous I’m being, and that I should stop.
I’m hoping this someone will be Micah, since my go-to buddies have vanished to do what couples in love do, I guess. Spend time alone. Suck face. Try different sex positions.
Does love turn you into a sex machine? It would sure seems so, and come to think of it, it wasn’t any different every time I met with Ocean these past weeks and days. In the kitchen, in his bedroom, in—