And that was a risk I was not willing to take.
“You still failed your primary objective.” I pointed the stubby cigar at her. “Redmond’s alive.”
“For now.” She laughed and gestured in the air. “I always wanted to say that. He’s still alive. For now. Like a villain from a movie.”
“This isn’t funny.”
“I know you don’t think so. But listen, James, you turned coat against your own people, which means you don’t get to order anyone around. You’re a backstabbing little piece of trash.”
“Watch your mouth.”
I stepped forward, but her guards were quick. They had their guns out and ready before I could get three steps. I froze, glaring at Cosima the whole time.
“Easy, boys,” Cosima said, waving them off. “I’m only pushing your buttons. I still need you and you still need me.”
“Redmond’s alive.” I hated saying the words. It tasted like bile. “I need him gone.”
“And so do I. With him in the picture, I’m not sure how long I can hold on to power. But if we manage to take Redmond down together—” She grinned and shrugged. “Who knows what we can accomplish.”
“When he’s dead, I want you to give Erin something in return.”
“Yes, yes, that’s the deal. You help me kill Redmond, and I will slice a chunk of Chicago away for Erin to play with.”
I nodded sharply, glancing back at Cosima’s goons. They sneered at me and I could only guess at what they were thinking.
Backstabber. Turncoat. Traitor.
Spineless piece of shit.
I hated myself for doing this. I’d been loyal my whole life. I’d never considered going against my commanders or my superiors. Erin was my boss, and if she said we were working with Redmond then that should’ve been enough.
Except it wasn’t and never would be. He asked far too much of her, and I wasn’t willing to give her away.
“Make it happen.” I turned my back on the group. Let them kill me now. It wouldn’t matter. I walked off into the night, sucking at the end of the cigar, before tossing it down a leaf-strewn drain.
I’d come too far to turn back. Cosima had been difficult to contact, especially with Chika watching my every move. I was dedicated to this path, because it was the only one that ended with Erin alive, in power, and far away from Redmond Orchard.
It would be so easy to kill Orchard myself, but if I did that, Erin would never forgive me.
Cosima was the next best thing.
Erin would never know about this alliance. I’d never let her find out.
I would go to my grave knowing I saved Erin from a fate worse than death.
I’d give her freedom, and she was going to love me for it.
I smiled to myself as I hurried back to the hotel.
Chapter 16
Erin
I couldn’t seem to wash the blood out of my hair.
Each time I lathered and rinsed, I kept finding more blackish-red chunks. Probably from Neil, or maybe from the other untold number of soldiers that died all around me. I couldn’t be sure, and I didn’t want to know.
I gave up after a while. My scalp burned from raking my fingernails down my skin and the repeated, obsessive shampooing. I toweled off and stood in front of the mirror, wiping a wide path through the condensation.
I saw Neil in the mirror. His eyes were cold and lifeless. No Paris, no future, no escape from the life he’d been trapped in. I turned away, unable to bear it, and felt tears roll down my cheeks.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
I’d never cried over the dead like this before. I went into the bedroom and got dressed. I tried to forget about what happened, but my hands were shaking and I just kept seeing him, over and over again. I kept hearing his last words, his tentative smiles, the look in his eyes when he was sure that he’d get what he wanted—and get the hell away from the Oligarchs for good.
He died thinking he was free.
Except he was always a prisoner and now he always would be.
Neil was me. He was my sisters. He was my brothers.
Even Darren was a prisoner, though he enjoyed his cell. He found comfort in the routine and the demands on his position and could eke out some meaning from all that violence.
I thought I had a stomach for death, but maybe I was wrong.
I leaned forward, head in my hands, and jumped when someone knocked at the door.
“Erin.” Redmond’s muffled voice.
“I’m fine. Go away.”
“You should eat something. You were in the shower for a long time.”
“Are you keeping track of how much water I use now?”
“No, but—”
“Go away.”
The knob turned. He stepped inside, staring at me with flat, intense eyes.
I climbed to my feet. “Don’t you dare storm in here.” I pointed toward the living room. “Get the hell out.”