“No hospitals,” Palmira said.
“Please, that’s unreasonable.”
“We can’t take that risk. Bring the machines here.”
The doctor grimaced. “That’s not an option. There’s a clinic nearby, it’s a small outpatient place with imaging. We can take him there at least. They won’t ask questions.”
Palmira stared at the doctor—then looked at me. “Your call. You’re the fiancée.”
I blinked at her and shook my head. “Whatever the doctor says.”
“Fine,” Palmira said. “But you’d better save his life.”
The doctor tossed the towel over a chair and adjusted his sleeves. He had blood on his white shirt. “We can’t move him now. I’ll arrange for an ambulance to pick him up in a few hours.” He nodded at me and left the room.
Palmira paced back and forth. “Fucking doctor,” he said. “We pay him a goddamn fortune and he can’t even bring his stupid machines here.”
“Palm, it’s a hotel. He needs a real hospital.”
She sighed and pulled at her hair. “I know you’re right. Fuck, that never should’ve happened. I bet Cosima was watching the lawyer’s place. We walked right into that fucking trap.”
“Don’t blame yourself.” I squeezed Redmond’s fingers, and he squeezed back.
“I’m going out for some air. Yell if anything changes.” She left the room. I sat there, heart racing, watching Redmond for some sign of life—but he didn’t move again.
I kept replaying those few seconds over and over again. We stepped outside, Redmond saw the car, turned, and threw himself on top of me. If he hadn’t done that, I might’ve been killed.
He took a bullet to protect me.
Nobody else would do something remotely that dangerous. Not Chika, not James, none of my soldiers, none of my family. Nobody, except for Redmond.
And now I might lose him.
God, it hurt. It broke me in a way I never imagined. I wanted him to show me things—to make me a normal person again. I could be intimate with him in ways I’d never been able to with anyone else, and the idea of losing that shattered something in my guts. Redmond was a decent man, even if he was surrounded with hate and death and killing. He was an Oligarch, and knew only how to act like one.
Except sacrificing himself for me went against that entire ethos. Oligarchs were inherently selfish. They worked to maintain and expand their power at the expense of everyone around them. Diving on top of someone else to save their life, and nearly dying in the process, was not what a typical Oligarch would do.
Redmond was different. He was mine, and I might lose him.
God, when did I start to feel like this? I closed my eyes and thought back. It must’ve been early on—when I realized that being around him quieted the voices in my head and slowed my thoughts down to something manageable. Even now, with him in the bed half alive and barely hanging on, I still felt at peace.
I didn’t know how he did it, but he pulled me into a better direction.
“Why do you look so sad?”
His voice startled me. I looked up, squeezing his hand hard. He watched me through lidded eyes and smiled, though I saw the pain in his expression.
“Redmond. You’re awake.”
“Where are we?”
“Back at the hotel. The doctor was here.”
“Guess that explains the blood bag.” He chuckled and grimaced. “Fuck, that hurts.”
“You were shot. Do you remember what happened?”
“Dove on top of you. Then a bullet tore through my chest. Not much after.”
“We dragged you here. Palmira saved your life.”
“Good old Palm. She’s good people.”
“Redmond.” I touched his face and kissed his lips. “Why’d you do that? Why’d you jump on me like that?”
“Had to save your pretty ass. Couldn’t resist.” He grinned and winked. “I guess you owe me now.”
“You somehow manage to piss me off.”
“It’s a talent.” His eyes fluttered closed. “Feeling pretty rough here.”
“I’ll get the doctor.”
“No,” he said, holding my hand tighter. “Stay.”
I nodded and kissed his fingers. “I’m right here. I promise.”
“Did I ever tell you that I wanted you the first time I saw you?”
“A hundred times.”
“It’s the truth. That first time I was, like, who the hell is that girl? I want to fuck her until she can’t breathe.”
“Romantic.”
“But then I learned about you. And I realized you were the one.” He grinned at me. “You know that already though.”
“You’re on pain meds. You’re delirious.”
“I’m not. I’m looking at you and that’s all I ever want to do.”
I stared back and my heart leapt into my throat. “Redmond,” I whispered. “I haven’t told you everything.”
“You don’t need to confess. This isn’t my deathbed.”
“No, but I need to—” I stopped and steeled myself.
It’d been long enough. No more secrets. No more lying.
I’d held this burden alone, and I needed help.
“My real mother is Maeve.”
His eyes went wide. He coughed and grunted with pain, but he didn’t release my hand. He held it tighter, pulled my fingers to his lips, and kissed them.