“Is everyone away?” Redmond asked.
“Everyone’s away. We only lost two men.”
“I’d call that a success.” Redmond glanced at me and frowned. “But you don’t look happy.”
“That’s a lot of dead bodies,” I said, staring out the window. “Hard to celebrate so much death.”
“This is what you wanted.” He touched my leg.
I slid my fingers through his. “I wanted better. This is what I got instead.”
He said nothing as we slid through the city.
Chapter 27
Chika
Lieutenant Chuck leaned against the chair in the back office of Cosima’s pet supply store and gripped the back hard enough to leave dents in the foam. I lingered near the door, watching carefully. Blood stained his clothes.
Cosima looked tired. She leaned her head in her hands for a long moment before tilting her chin in the air. The room smelled like rotten meat mixed with an old hamster cage. I wanted to escape, but I’d come this far, and couldn’t turn back.
There was nowhere for me to run now.
“Everyone, dead,” Chuck repeated, his smoker’s voice a rough growl. “All my best fighters.”
“An ambush.” Cosima looked at me. “You said she wouldn’t.”
“I said she might not.” I shrugged, trying to seem confident, while inside my guts twisted, twisted, twisted. “I told you Erin is clever.”
“Half our fighters are dead.” Cosima glared at me. She looked like a kindly grandmother, but she had the heart of a rabid bear.
“You still have the other half and money to buy more.”
“Those were my men,” Chuck said, turning to glare at me.
I shrugged and tilted my head, daring him to make a move. “Doesn’t change our current situation.”
“Enough,” Cosima said. “Our backs are against the wall. I never should’ve pushed against an Oligarch. I thought your weasel James would be the edge, but he went ahead and lost his mind.”
I grimaced and looked at my hand.
James was my fault. I pushed him as hard as I could. I kept mentioning how Erin was alone with Redmond, and how they were engaged, and how they were likely enjoying the benefits that came with being in close quarters with the member of the opposite sex. I didn’t exactly say they were fucking like rabbits, but he understood regardless.
He might’ve broken whether I nudged him along or not. I couldn’t be sure. James was clearly unhinged from the start, and I hadn’t imagined he would snap and try to murder Redmond himself.
That was a miscalculation. So many of my moves were miscalculations.
Erin always seemed to be a step ahead.
The rotten bitch. I wanted to slit her throat and bathe in her entrails. I hated her, hated the Servants, hated Maeve and all the Oligarchs. The longer I spent in this sordid, rotten world, the more I wanted to see them all burn.
Yet I couldn’t. I was outclassed and outmatched, and running to Cosima was my final move.
“What will you do?” Chuck asked, looking back to Cosima. “The Oligarch says he’s going to find you.”
“I don’t doubt it. I suspect it’s only a matter of time.”
“Then what will you do? Run? Fight?”
“Fight,” I said, stepping forward. “Redmond’s not as strong as he seems. He had to struggle to maintain control of his family, and that left him at a disadvantage. If you can only—”
“Stop,” Cosima said, glaring at me. “I listened to you once. You said attacking the safe house would be an easy victory. You were wrong. I wasted lives following your advice, and I won’t do it again.”
“Cosima,” I said, trying not to let the pleading slip into my voice.
“I’ll speak with Redmond.” She stood wearily and nodded at Chuck. “Can you find him again and give him my reply?”
“Well, shit,” Chuck said, rubbing his head. “I can put myself out there. I think he’ll find me before I find him.”
“Do what you have to do. Tell him I’ll talk.”
Chuck nodded and pushed past me. He disappeared into the front of the store.
I leaned toward Cosima. “You’re making a mistake. Erin will never let you live.”
“How do you know that?” She asked like she was genuinely curious.
I hesitated. The room felt small and was getting smaller.
“I worked for her family for many years. First for her mother, and then for her. She’s devious, rotten, and ruthless. If you’re in her way, she’ll cut you down without a second thought. You can’t trust them.”
“And I can trust you?”
I clenched my jaw. “No. I have my own motives.”
“What are they? I’ll be honest, I’m curious.”
“I hate them.” The words were like poison on my tongue. I hated admitting it out loud. It was like saying I had a weakness. I felt hate, rage, anger. I let it consume me for so many years that I was left a shell of a woman.
Once, I was proud. I made my family proud.
Now, I was nothing more than a bitter and jaded wreck of a human.