And eventually…my body starts feeling warm….and achy. My nipples tighten, suddenly sensitized as they scrape over the hair on his chest. And a feverish flush washes over me as my hips start moving again of their own accord. Grinding against his erection, seeking that selfish thing.
“Un-uh-uh,” he says, pulling back from the kiss. “You don’t get to come dry-humping my dick, angel. If you want a release. Do what I told you with my hand.”
I swallow, remembering belatedly that he put me in charge. I don’t want to mess this up again.
But I do want a release. I want to do this. I want to overcome this block. With him. He, and only he, guessed at the reason for my awkwardness in bed. And that makes me feel safer than I did with those other guys. Even though none of those other guys were so dangerous, they had to be handcuffed to the bed.
In the end, my body makes the decision for me.
I take his hand in mine and rub a thumb over his rough, callused palm.
He sucks in a breath, and I raise my eyes to his, wondering if I hurt him.
“You’re alright,” he says before I can ask. “I’m just excited, is all.”
He’s excited. And I’m…scared, but also something else that makes me suck in a deep breath of my own….
Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump.
My heartbeat is a bomb about to go off inside my ears.
But I do it. I take his hand, and I place it…how did he describe it? Not where he wants it, but where we want it. I place his hand where we want it.
And just like that, he’s cupping me, his hand warm and heavy on my vagina.
“How’s that feel?” he asks, watching me closely. “You like that?”
“It feels…good,” I realize and say at the same time. “I like it, but…”
I run out of words to explain, but he smiles like I’ve given him a full rundown. “You want more, don’t you, angel?”
“This is supposed to be about me learning how to please a guy in bed,” I point out, self-conscious feelings eating me alive.
“I’m real pleased about you wanting more from me, angel, trust me on that. Now wrap your arms around my neck and close your eyes.”
I start to ask why, but as soon as I open my mouth, he intones, “Remember the first rule? I can do slow, but I can’t do backtalk, angel.”
I hesitate, then carefully wrap my arms around his neck, giving him the world’s most tentative hug as I close my eyes.
“Good angel. Just focus on relaxing. That’s all you’ve got to do for now. Relax.”
All I’ve got to do…his words send a strange relief through me. I release a breath and let my cheek lower to rest on his shoulder.
We sit there in that strange position for long moments. Both of us just inhaling and exhaling until my breaths sync with his.
Then he says, “I’m going to put a couple of fingers inside this pretty pussy of yours. I don’t care if you hit me, but I know you want me to. So you hold on to me tight while I put them in. You understand?”
I nod against his shoulder and hold tight, afraid of what I’ll do if I don’t.
“Okay, I’m moving my hand, angel. Just hold on and concentrate on the feelings, not the memories.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and cling to him as one finger splits me and then another.
It’s pressure, but not too much. My hit reflex doesn’t flare up out of nowhere like it’s done before.
“Fuck, you’re tight. You, alright, angel?”
Yes, yes, I am, I realize as I wiggle my hips to adjust to the long fingers inside of me. Eventually, the wiggling to adjust becomes something else. I roll my hips into his hand, and it feels so good.
“Yeah, just like that.”
The biker’s voice is a low grunt in my ear as I fuck myself on his fingers.
“Jesus Christ, the way you’re squeezing my hand in that tight cunt. You know how hard you’re making this for me?”
No, I didn’t realize. I slow. The sense of unfairness breaking through my own selfish need.
“Don’t stop, angel. That was just information. You got one job when it comes to this lesson. Come for me. Come for your teacher.”
Oh God, his voice. His words… send sharp thrills through me, and I forget to be self-conscious as I start riding his hand again. So eagerly, soon, his fingers begin to make wet sounds inside my needy flesh.
“Ohhhh!” I moan, moving my hips even faster. I’m right there, right there, but I can’t quite reach the peak.
“You want some help?” he asks, his tone cruel and teasing.
I don’t care. “Yes! Yes, please.”
“Okay, angel, here it comes….”
His thumb finds my clit, circles once, twice, three times.
And I don’t punch him.