His Christmas List

I've had the most wonderful week.

Jack is intelligent and kind and funny and sexy as all fuck. We’ve talked for hours and laughed and made love. He's shown me around his beloved town. I've been cooking for us and he even took me to meet his parents. But tomorrow it all ends.

After my meeting today, I came back here for one last night. The thought of not being in his quaint little log cabin with him is upsetting me, and it shouldn’t.

Because this isn’t who I am.

I'm the acquisitions manager for Ferrara Media in New York, the one who wears designer clothes and lives in a multi-million-dollar penthouse. I eat out at the best restaurants most nights, I socialize with the elite and drink fancy cocktails.

So why does it feel like this is the end of the world?

Jack comes out and the screen door bangs shut, "You need to fix that door," I whisper.

"I know."

He picks me up and sits down and puts me on his lap. He wraps me up in the blanket and kisses my temple and I smile, feeling safe in his arms.

Rex walks up the stairs and tries to jump up to me. Funnily enough, I've even made friends with him.

"Don’t," Jack says.

Rex tries to get to me but Jack pulls me away. "Don’t, she's mine," he snaps as he holds me close.

And I could just cry, because something has never sounded so good.

Mine.

I need to snap out of this sappy business.

"You all packed?" he asks.

I nod.

"What time is your flight?"

"Nine."

Jack nods but stays silent.

There's a sense of dread between us. How do you go from not knowing someone at all, to being totally besotted with them in a week?

We haven’t discussed what's going to happen when I leave. Up until now, it's all felt so natural between us.

Leaving him, not so much.

I don’t like the idea of him being here all by himself. Who's going to look after him?

"It's been a great week," he whispers as he looks out over the mountains.

I smile sadly. "The best." I feel a lump in my throat, and I know our time is over. We helped each other through a rough patch. A light in the darkness.

But our worlds are different, and it would never work between us. Michelle was right, I couldn’t live here, and he couldn’t live in New York.

"Let's go to bed, baby," he whispers.

I nod and stand, and as he walks inside, the screen door bangs hard again.

I stare out over the view, fog puffs into the air as I breathe out. The air is so still.

And it's not just Jack that I'm going to miss. It’s the peace that being here brings me.

"Holly," he calls.

With one long last look, I smile sadly and walk inside, the door bangs hard again. "Can you fix that damn door?" I sigh.

"Yeah, yeah," he mutters under his breath. "Quit nagging me, woman."

* * *

"Last call for flight 103 to Seattle," the voice sounds over the speaker.

I stare at the man in front of me. Jack has my two hands in his.

We are both quiet, not sure what to say.

"I should…" I go to pull out of his grip.

"Holly." His eyes search mine. "Stay…"

I frown.

"I know I don’t…," he pauses as if searching for the right words. "I don’t have a lot to offer."

"You have everything to offer," I whisper.

"We met for a reason; I truly believe that," he squeezes my hands in his.

My face falls.

"We can try."

My eyes well with tears. "Jack…"

He stares at me for a moment and then drops his head, already knowing my answer.

"I'll call you when I get there." I fake a smile.

He steps back from me as he drops my hands.

My heart sinks.

"Thanks for having me," I say.

His eyes hold mine, but he doesn’t say anything. I lean up onto my tippy toes and go to kiss him and he turns his cheek.

Ouch.

I kiss his face and then turn, and without looking back I walk through the gates.

He didn’t want to kiss me goodbye.

With a heavy heart, I get onto the plane and take my seat and buckle up my seatbelt.

"Can I get you anything?" The stewardess smiles.

"Alcohol," I reply flatly as my gaze turns to look out the window. "All of the alcohol."

* * *

One week later

I sit at the restaurant table on the sidewalk and stare at the people.

It's Christmas Eve.

Thousands of people are all rushing to get to their destination, the jovial energy swirling around and around is a confused mess.

I feel lost. Like a stranger from the outside, looking in. I've been walking around in a detached daze since I got back from Alaska.

Something inside of me has changed, and I don’t know what it is.

I'm heartsick.

I'm pining for him like a love-struck teenager.

"What's wrong with you?" Gabriel asks.

My eyes flick back to my boss, Gabriel Ferrara. He's always been so good to me and we are close friends.