The Beginning (The Life 1)
Page 40
I jogged down the steps with the girls ahead of me to the Hummer that someone had already brought around to the driveway from the garage, not for the first time marveling at the lengths Pop has gone to to make our lives damn near perfect. The house speaks of elegance, class, and money; everything I own does the same.
No one would associate the Russo children with the darkness that had basically formed the foundation of who we are, and I’m not just talking about my conception. It is that very conception that keeps me from truly enjoying all this. No matter the lengths Pop goes to, and I’m thankful for each and every one, there’s always that something that keeps me from letting this all in.
My boundaries, the ones I’d made for myself, are never in danger of being crossed. They’ve been in place for so long now that they’d become a part of me. Yesterday is the first time anyone had gotten close to the line, walked right up to the edge of it, and I still don’t know how or why. Something tells me that if given a chance, she’d smash that shit to pieces.
I can’t let that happen, though, because I don’t have room for her or what she entails in my life. I have a debt to pay. There’s no happily ever after for me. Once I do what I have to, my life as I know it won’t be the same. I don’t plan on hanging around this shit long enough to become something other than what my parents expect me to be, and the thought of taking someone else down with me terrifies me—especially someone as seemingly innocent as her.
“Where are you going?” I snapped back to reality, not even having been aware that I’d spaced out. Looking around, I realized my mistake right away. I’d subconsciously driven to her house, which hadn’t been hard to find the night before with a name and general location. And I’d done that shit with my sisters in the car; fuck me.
“Just felt like taking a different route this morning.” Thank fuck they’d both decided to ride in back today, or my red face would give me away.
“Uh-huh!” Not good, Gabriel! I scolded myself and paid attention to where the heck I was going.
GIANNA
I woke the next day with a start. It had taken the whole night for the reality of what Victoria had done to set in, and as is usual after one of our encounters, I’m left feeling like I’m suffering from PTSD. The therapist I’d been allowed to see before Becky put a stop to it when I was ten had been getting close to that diagnosis, I’m sure.
Though at the time when I overheard her talking to dad, I had no idea what that was and how exactly I’d caught it, it was years later that I figured it out and also understood why Becky had freaked and talked dad into ending my sessions. One more year. That’s the secret mantra I’ve been repeating to myself since my seventeenth birthday. Grandma Eloise had promised that it would all end as soon as I reached that magical age of eighteen. In the meantime, I just had to put up with the sisters grim.
I laid there for a few seconds more, getting my bearings and preparing myself for whatever fiasco awaited me beyond the door. My mind was still filled with scenes from the night before and the escalation in Victoria here lately. She’s always monstrous sure, but it seems in the last few weeks, or so, she’s been ramping up the crazy.
Though the charcoal drawings of mom weren’t the only ones I’d done, it was still really mean of her to destroy them. I guess I was in too much shock and more worried about her finding out about my inner thoughts about Gabriel Russo to pay attention, but now in the light of day, her actions seem even more disturbing than usual, and that’s saying a lot.
Gabriel Russo. I wonder what he thinks of our encounter? How did I come across in his eyes? No doubt by now, one of Victoria’s flying monkeys had given him the spiel she’d fed them and have been feeding them for years. When we were younger, I was the one with friends; no one liked her because of her selfish ways and the way she used to cry just to get her way in everything.
Funnily enough, I was the one who’d gone out of my way to share my friends with her. Now they were all on her side, and I was the one ostracized because of the lies she’d told. It’s hell going to the same school from first to twelfth grade, seeing the same people year after year, battling the same demons from sixth grade till whenever you leave.