The Beginning (The Life 1)

“Who’s your best friend here? Me, or my old man?”

“Without a doubt, it’s you. That is why I told him the truth so he could handle it before you get yourself in trouble, you ass. That’s what a real friend does.” That’s his way of telling me that he’d only cross the line to save, something I know and have no doubt about.

SOPHIA

“Have you noticed anything different about Gabe lately?” I ran my hand over Draco’s chest, just slightly embarrassed by the fact that it was the middle of the afternoon, and we were in bed like this. In almost twenty years, you’d think the spark would’ve gone out by now, but I guess I’m one of the lucky ones.

There’ve been divorces and accusations of infidelity amongst our friends and neighbors over the years, but I’ve never once doubted his love for me or the strength of our union. No man who loves his kids the way he does could ever hurt their mom. That’s something he told me a long time ago, just after the twins started high school, and I was feeling old and frumpy.

At thirty-four, I was far from it, but back then, I felt out of place and out of sorts, and my mind would give me no peace. Now three years later, I’m more sure of myself, more confident in this phase of my life, with just one niggling shadow of darkness that always seems to be there, hanging over me. My life until now has been filled with more joy than that broken child I once was could imagine. I've come a long way from who I had been on that dreary day when I thought my life was over, and yet, every once in a while, amid the joy, there was always this thing that clung.

It was a while before I put the pieces together and realized as time went by that my angst and rising uneasiness stemmed from the subtle changes in our son. He'd gone from the smiling child without a care in the world to a morose kid who always seemed to be looking in from the outside. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret my hastiness in telling him the truth about his parentage. I never stopped to think how my embroiling him in my selfish need for vengeance would impact him.

It was subtle, these changes. In the beginning, Gabe didn’t seem too affected by it because of the love that surrounded him, but here in the last couple of years or so, I’ve noticed that there’s something off. We’ve never talked about it since that time, he’s never brought it up, and even though I knew then that it would stay with him, I’m not sure what I expected.

“Why do you ask? Has something happened?” How do I answer? How do I tell my husband about what I’m coming to see as the biggest mistake of my life? Now that I’m entrenched in this life so far removed from my past, that burning fire of rage has been tempered with time. But I can’t kick the feeling that I might’ve thrown my son, my own flesh and blood, into the fire. “Nothing happened; he just seems, quiet I guess.”

My heart melted when he hugged me closer and kissed my hair with reassurance. “Don’t worry about our son; he’s fine.” I hope so. I hope that I haven’t destroyed him with the truth; how things have changed. I wish now that I could take back that night, wish I could go back in time and wipe my son’s mind clean of the ugliness that I so thoughtlessly shared with him.

I held my husband tighter as guilt washed over me. Draco is right. Gabriel is going to be okay. So why do I have this pit in my gut that tells me we’re standing on the precipice of something? I felt a shiver run down my spine and hid it by rolling over onto my husband.

DRACO

Shit! She’s noticed. I’ve been wary of that very thing happening, have done everything in my power to keep two very volatile situations from clashing without either party realizing that I know. My wife is asleep on my chest, her soft breathing still affording me the same peace and comfort it always has since the beginning. But I worry for my son.

I doubt she had any idea what her divulging the truth to him would do to him, my softhearted girl. I kissed her hair and felt a bit of sadness at the situation. For the past few years, I’ve been keeping an eye on the situation. I didn’t know right away, of course, but over time I started to notice the strange changes in Gabe. Not to mention the fact that he suddenly had a very pointed interest in 'the life,' going around me to the old man to ask questions.