Beautifully Broken

But it’s like a fucking car accident. No matter how you try to avoid crashing, it’s inevitable. We’re going to collide one of these days, and I can only hope we’ll survive it.

Walking into the store, I grab a cart and head over to the clothes because Cara needs more than the couple of items I packed. I take the first pair of jeans I see and hold them up.

Yeah, they seem the correct size.

I grab a few shirts, another pair of jeans, and two pairs of sweatpants. Then I come to a standstill in the underwear section.

Fuck.

I grab a box of panties and then sigh when my eyes fall on the bras. I stare at the bras until it’s well past the point of weird.

Deciding to just get it over with, I take the first one and then think back to the night before. I only got a glimpse, but the image of Cara’s breasts is crystal-fucking-clear.

I search through the row of bras until I find one that looks like it will fit. We can get Cara more when she can pick them herself.

Next, I head over to the shoes and grab a comfy-looking pair. As I walk to the front of the store, my eyes spot the aisle with deodorant and shit. I sniff at a few cans before I pick one that smells fresh.

I also grab a pack of pads and tampons, hoping they’re the right ones. I spot some razors and take a pack, tossing it into the cart.

I get a beard trimmer for myself. I’ve let the beard grow too long and need to change my appearance. I also get Cara her own toothbrush because I don’t want a repeat of this morning.

I stare at the hair dye, but I just can’t take one. Cara has gorgeous ginger hair. I sigh and glance to my left. There are hats and beanies, and I smile with relief. I get her two beanies, then head for the front of the store again, satisfied that I got the essentials.

After everything’s scanned through, I pay with cash and grabbing the bags, I stalk out of the store.

I’ve taken too long.

Just as I walk across the motel’s parking area, four men come out of the room next to ours. They laugh and look casual, but every muscle in my body tenses. I keep my head down as I pass by them, then slow my pace and wait until they get into a car and leave before I open the door to our room.

My eyes immediately search for Cara. She’s still sitting on the bed, her hands limply on her lap.

“Got you more clothes and a couple of things you might need,” I say, and I put the bag down on the bed. “Want to change before we leave?”

Cara keeps staring at the floor, her face devoid of any emotion. She’s got that ‘the lights are on but no one’s home’ expression on her face.

I crouch down in front of her and place my hand on her knee. I catch her eyes, and they seem to come back into focus.

“Time to get dressed,” I murmur, and suddenly it feels like there’s a fucking rock stuck in my throat.

Christ, I hate seeing her like this.

When Cara finally nods, I rise to my feet and, taking scissors from the first aid kit, I grab the beard trimmer and head to the bathroom.

I cut most of the beard off before using the beard trimmer until there’s only a dark dusting of bristles on my jaw.

I’m not fond of a clean shave, and it’s easier to maintain this way.

I pack everything away and clean the sink out before I go back to the room. I’m relieved to see Cara changed into a fresh pair of sweatpants and a sweater. She’s busy slipping her feet into the shoes.

“Everything fit okay?” I ask as I pack the beard trimmer into my bag. I grab her other clothes and shove them into my bag, and then glance up at Cara.

She’s staring at me with her lips slightly parted. She takes a breath and tilts her head. “You shaved,” she states the obvious.

“Yeah, time for a new look. Wear one of the beanies to cover your hair.”

I leave the room to put the bag in the car and then rush back so I can erase any trace we were here. It’s a habit I’ll never be able to break. I have to always cover my tracks.

When I’m done, I take Cara’s hand. “Let’s go.”

I open the door and scan the area. When I see it’s quiet, I tug her out of the room, then lock it behind us. She stays next to me as we walk to the reception area and placing the key on the counter, we leave without a word.