I swing back to him. “Why are you doing this?”
Damian steps right up to me, and his eyes are blazing with emotion. “You’re alive. Fuck, Cara. Your heart is beating. You still get to see all this beauty. You get to feel that breeze. You get to walk.” He wipes a hand over his face, then says, “You’re alive. There are so many who die young. So many lose so much, but they don’t give up. They fucking live every day to the fullest. Cara…” He sucks in a deep breath, his features tense. “You’re given one fucking life, and it might have been a fucked up one so far, but you get to decide how it will end. Are you going to let a bunch of fuckers ruin your entire life, or are you going to fight back and take control of what’s left?”
My throat feels thick, and I swallow hard on the threatening tears.
I know he’s right, but…
“I don’t know how,” I whisper.
“That’s why I brought you here. All you have to do is look at the ocean and see the blue. Feel the breeze and cold water on your skin. For today…” His eyes are stormy with emotions, and I’m scared if I stare any longer, I’ll get caught up in them. “Just do that. Nothing more. Just feel, Cara.”
I walk back into the water and focus on the cold waves splashing around my legs. I feel the breeze play in my hair, and I look out across the ocean, taking note of all the shades of blue.
I am grateful to be alive, and I’m so thankful I have Damian. I just wish I could shake this heaviness that keeps weighing me down.
Chapter 26
DAMIAN
It’s been two weeks, and every day I take Cara outside and make her list something she sees, feels, and one of her body functions she’s grateful for. It’s a long process, but I’m seeing the difference it’s making in her.
I’m going to fucking win if it’s the last thing I do. I won’t lose her to depression. Not after everything she’s survived.
Cara comes out onto the porch, and I glance up at her. “You ready for our walk?”
She doesn’t look at me as she nods. “Let’s go.”
When we head down the stairs, I notice she has more energy. She hasn’t been taking any painkillers for the past couple of days, and she’s eating more. It’s making my worry ease a little.
I catch up to Cara, and before I can say anything, she says, “I saw something yesterday. It’s this way.”
I follow her deeper into the trees, and we walk for a while in silence before she points to something. “Over there.”
I follow her until she stops and crouches down. There’s a bunch of dandelions. She plucks one and then blows on it, making the tiny seeds waft into the air, and then she fucking grins up at me, and the sight makes me almost cry with relief.
That’s my girl. I knew you could do it.
Cara plucks a few more and then hands me one. “Make a wish when you blow on it.”
I watch her blow two more before she gives me an expectant look.
I wish you’ll fully heal and learn to love me back. I just want to make you happy, baby.
I hold it in front of my mouth and slowly blow at the seeds. Watching as they float away, I pray the wish will come true.
Cara gives me a pleased smile, and then she takes the stem from between my fingers, tucking all four into her pocket.
Today was a huge win. Cara made a choice and did something she wanted to do.
“Thank you,” I murmur as we begin to walk back to the cabin.
Cara nods, glancing up at the sunrays filtering through the treetops. “I’m sorry things have been so difficult.”
I wrap an arm around her shoulders and tug her to my side. “You’ve been through hell. It’s expected. I’m just glad you’re fighting back.”
Cara turns her gaze to me, a soft smile curing her lips. “Just following your lead.”
CARA
At first, going on walks with Damian took all the strength I had, but not anymore. Now I enjoy them.
It’s been two months since we moved to Southport. Gosh, it feels like years have passed since I lost my baby and Annie, but at the same time, it feels like it all happened yesterday.
I want to reach out to Annie, but I’m scared it will put her in danger, and that’s the only reason I haven’t tried to contact her.
It’s not so dark anymore… in my mind. There are moments when I’m actually happy.
I still don’t understand why all these bad things keep happening to me, but I hope life will take a break from shitting on me.
Damian and I have fallen into a routine where we take turns cooking. Every day he’s busy around the cabin, slowly making it home.