Sexy as Sin

“I didn’t say that—” She raises her voice for the first time, her gaze piercing through mine with thinly veiled desperation.

Reed shoves at my back. “You’re drunk, man, come on.”

My grip loosens and the duffle bag drops to my feet. “I need to hear you say it,” I blurt out and then catch myself. Fuck, she makes me weak. She has me under her thumb and doesn’t even know it.

“Say what?” she’s quick to ask and that eagerness promises she’ll say what I want to hear, but I’m too much of a bitch to risk it.

“Tell me you want me to stay here,” I say instead and then I’m quick to amend it, “That it’s all right that I stay with you.”

Reed bends at my side, picking up the duffle bag and not looking at either of us.

Lydia looks anywhere but at us too and all the while, I wait.

“Of course you can … I’m just,” she says and glances down then back up at me, “… I’m just surprised you want to.” Her voice nearly breaks and the corners of her lips turn down.

Fuck. I hate this. I hate every moment of it as a cold sweat breaks out on the back of my neck.

It kills me how she looks as if she’s on the verge of breaking down. Lydia must see it too because she’s quick to tell me to get my drunk ass upstairs. “Welcome home,” she adds before stepping between Kat and me.

I can’t help myself, though. I ask her, “Did you think I forgot about you? I know you haven’t forgotten about me.”

“Let’s go,” Reed says and grabs my arm, pulling me to the stairs as Lydia takes Kat’s hand, taking her away from me.

In all the ways I imagined coming back to her, this sure as hell wasn’t the reality I expected. That’s all I can think as I climb up the stairs, wishing I’d had enough beer to pass out at the fucking bar so I could have avoided all of this.

At one point I was strong for her, but after four years, all I feel is broken or pissed off and there’s no in between until I look at her …

I barely know who I am anymore, but all I want to know is whether or not she could love me again.

Kat

Seeing the two of them together is surreal. Reed … and most notably Cillian. My heart is all sorts of crushed yet still able to beat. Furiously and nervously at the same time. With my fingers numb and barely able to breathe, I watch, unable to say a word.

Although I grimace as Cill stumbles and my chest flips with an ache. My Cillian. My rock and my ride or die … he’s a shell of the man he used to be.

He’s still handsome and every bit of how I remember him … but four years in prison aged him obviously so. He doesn’t seem to have slept a bit, given that darkness under his eyes. He’s more than toned now. The muscles that ripple in his shoulders and down his arms pull at the cotton of his shirt as his leather jacket falls to the floor.

Sexy and sinful … but there’s a brokenness that’s undeniable. Even as he attempted to hide it when I opened the door, I felt it. In the very marrow of my bones, my body ached in mourning of what’s become of him.

I always knew him to be deadly and brooding even, but this is a different brokenness.

It takes everything in me not to gather him up myself and let out these sobs.

It’s been a year since I’ve seen him and that year must have been hell.

Regret pulls my gaze away as Reed mutters, “Come on. You’re drunk,” yet again.

Judging by Reed’s scowl, he’s on the verge of pulling Cill out of my house by the arm and back to his truck. I should let him do it. This whole thing—Cill staying with me after his release, no warning—it shouldn’t be happening. No one has the right to show up at my house and demand to stay with me. But I know I’ll never forgive myself if I let this happen.

Cill is in no state to go anywhere else. He’s drunk, and there’s a darkness in his eyes that scares me because I don’t think he’s able to hold back a single thing. It also begs me to comfort him.

My fingers itch at my side and as they do, Lydia tugs at my arm and silently mouths the word no as if she could read my mind.

I hate everything about this moment.

The tension between the four of us is so thick it makes my heart pound. Reed’s about to get physical with him. Drag him out of here, back to his truck.