Sexy as Sin

Biting down on my lip, I check my phone again.

He didn’t say a word to Reed and neither did I when the cops said we were free to leave, much to their chagrin after hours of searching. The expression on Reed’s face haunts me and the fact that he didn’t respond to my text only makes me worry more.

All I asked him was if he was okay. I know he saw the text, but he hasn’t answered.

As I pour the boiling water into the mug, eager for a cup of mint tea to calm my nerves, Cill gets up abruptly, leaving the wooden legs of the kitchen chair to scratch against the floor as he does. He goes upstairs, his footsteps heavy.

“You all right?” I call after him.

“Fine, I’ll be back,” he answers.

His footsteps keep going. I listen to every one of them. My chest is tight with emotion. He’s anything but fine. All of this is fucked. Hating all of it, every last bit of today, I lean against the counter next to the stove and pull out my phone to text Lydia.

Kat: We went to the club. There was a raid.

She texts back right away. Thank God.

Lydia: Oh my god. The cops came?

Kat: Yeah.

Lydia: Are you guys okay? What the hell happened.

Kat: Yeah. As good as we can be. I almost tell her wrong place, wrong time jokingly, but I can’t do it. I can’t make light of what happened.

The cops came, and this time, they didn’t take Cill.

Kat: It all feels like a lie.

Lydia: What lie?

Kat: That it was ever safe. That I ever belonged. That I was ever a part of it, a real part. I thought Cill was part of it too. I never thought they’d let him take the fall like that.

With a shaky hand, I put down my phone and breathe deep. The tea is next. I focus on it even as the phone beeps with another text. I harbor so much anger toward all of them. Even to his father who’s long gone. Cill never should have taken the fall.

Inhaling the calming tea, I pray for all of them to get what they deserve. After a moment, I’m able to check my phone again.

Lydia: I never thought it was right.

I’m too wrapped up in my thoughts to hear Cill come back down so he’s able to catch me off guard as his arms fold around me the next second.

“Hey, Hellcat.” His tone is calmer than it’s been all day, which instantly soothes me. It doesn’t go unnoticed that we were tense around each other earlier, but after what happened at Cavanaugh Crest, he hasn’t stopped touching me.

I couldn’t be more grateful. I need him to be steady for me.

“You okay?”

“No,” I admit. The back of my throat is tight. I’m not on the verge of breaking down, but I’m angry. “There’s so much that’s just fucking wrong.” The bitterness lingers after the words are spoken. A part of me expects him to deny the reality, like my father used to do, but he doesn’t and that’s all the more shocking.

“I know,” he answers in a whisper. He adds, “I’m going to make it all right. I promise,” and I wish he wouldn’t.

How could he promise such a thing? It’s all fucked. I catch my bottom lip between my teeth before it trembles and Cill looks me in the eye, the comfort changing to something else. Something darker and something more sinful.

“You’re going to need a safe word, Kat.”

My head tilts immediately to the floor, thinking of the phrase my father gave me and hating it, hating him. The rage is instantly subdued as Cill grabs my chin between his thumb and forefinger, bringing my attention back to him as he tells me, “So when I whip your ass for taking my gun, I’ll know if I’m going too hard on you.”

“Cillian,” I murmur, my eyes widening with shock but my body heating with anticipation.

“Word, my little hellcat,” he commands, his voice still soothing even as the threat of punishment looms.

“Mulberry,” I speak without thinking. Mulberry is the street where an old pizzeria used to sit on the corner. Cillian first “punished” me behind that pizzeria.

It wasn’t much of a punishment if you ask me, getting fucked raw while he played with my ass. A tingle heats my skin at the memory.

He smirks at the word, maybe knowing exactly why I picked it, but it falls as quickly as it came to grace his lips. “You aren’t going to do that again, do you understand?”

“Yes.” Although the answer is instant, my internal agreement is not. For him, I’d do it all again. If I can protect him in any way, I will.

There’s no way I could stand by and watch like I did before. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.