Sexy as Sin

His words force me to tense. I’m not how I always was. And he’s no longer my only. Cill’s not the only one I’ve been with. I wish we’d had the kind of life where we could have stayed together. I wish I wasn’t carrying around this guilt. He fucks me with even strokes while that horrible guilt fills up my lungs.

“It’s all right, Hellcat,” he says like he already knows.

My voice is thick with unspoken secrets. “I don’t know if it is, Cill.” Does he know? Please, let him know. Let him know and still love me regardless. Please still love me.

He doesn’t stop. Instead he reaches around in front of me and circles my clit with a fingertip.

* * *

“You can tell me whatever you want,” he says gruffly.

Pleasure builds between my legs. My head thrashes with the undeniable heat.

“How am I supposed to tell you things if—if they’ll ruin this moment?”

He takes a deep breath and lets it out, pulling nearly all the way out and then slamming back into me, my hips butting against the edge of the counter, nearly bruising.

“I’m inside you,” he says finally. “It’s where I wanted to be every goddamn day for the last four years. You can tell me whatever the fuck you want, and it won’t ruin a damn thing.” He doesn’t stop and the pleasure doesn’t let up. Neither does the burning secret begging to spill from me.

He thrusts into me slowly as he tells me, “I want you and I’ll never stop wanting you.”

Kisses greet my side, his hands roaming along my sensitized skin. It’s all too much. His touch is gentle and it strips down the boundaries I’ve been holding around myself. I can’t tell him the whole story. I’m not ready, and neither is he.

“I’ll ask you questions,” he says, stroking in and out of me steadily. “How about that?”

I’m barely able to utter a word, but I agree, nodding my head as the pleasure rises. He grips my ass as he thrusts in deeper and harder.

“How many men were you with while I was away?” he questions and my eyes open wide, my heart thumping in fear of being torn to shreds. “Don’t lie to me, Hellcat.”

Only a moment passes. All the while, he keeps up his pace. With my breath unsteady I answer him. “One,” I say.

He swallows hard, so hard I can hear it, and I think he might drop it until he asks, “Did he treat you right?”

Every thrust forces my hips to hit the counter and heat engulfs me as I nod.

“I’m sorry,” I say, the tears falling, the pleasure and the pain intertwined. “I’m sorry, Cill.”

He pulls out of me and I almost crumple across the countertop. No. No, please. Don’t leave me, the words are trapped at the back of my throat, and they’re kept there, by Cill’s bruising kiss. He turns me to face him and lifts me up to perch on the edge of the counter. Then he thrusts himself inside of me and braces my back with his forearms as he fucks me like he always has. Possessively and with a passion that’s undeniable.

I bury my head in the crook of his neck, my warm breath suffocating me as I realize what I’ve just told him.

“Look at me, Hellcat.”

Sharp blue eyes pierce through me and hold me in place as he takes from me. It’s a punishing fuck, hard and deep.

All the while, I struggle between the push and pull of pleasure and pain, praying he doesn’t ask me who.

Cillian

She has a way of calming me. I swear to God the last year in that hell was unbearable because she left me. Every time I think back on it all I know is that my father passed, we had an argument and then things changed.

Staring down at the texts from Reed, that began last night until this morning, I know I should be focused on the club, but I want answers from my hellcat.

Why is she so fucking scared now, walking into the club like she doesn’t belong?

What happened—what really fucking happened that drove her away? Was it me? Or was it something else … was it someone else?

* * *

Reed (7:14 pm): You two all right?

Reed (8:09 pm): The police just came knocking now.

Reed (8:10 pm): They haven’t stopped since you left. Every couple of months there’s something.

Reed (10:26 pm): Can we talk?

Reed (10:47 pm): Can you at least let me know that you’re still fucking alive and they didn’t arrest you again?

Reed (11:14 pm): I just drove by her place and talked to Lydia. Look, I’m sorry. When your pops left, and Eamon took over, things changed. In a lot of ways and I wish they didn’t but we have to talk.

Reed (9:15 am): I think there’s a rat. I think whoever it is either wants you back in jail or they were after me this time. I was moving supplies when you came in. I only put it back and stopped because I heard your voice downstairs. If you hadn’t come just then, I would’ve been holding it. I wouldn’t have had a chance to hide the shit.