Everything is hot and turmoil rages inside of me as I beg him to stop, knowing it’s all my fault. I did this.
“Off me, Kat! Get off before you get hurt!”
“Run, Reed!”
Cillian’s hands wrap around my arms as he grits between his teeth, “Off, Kat. Get off before you get hurt.”
It’s enough time to give Reed the chance to get out of the rubble and the moment I see his feet steady on the ground I yell out for him to leave. “Get out! Go!”
Cill attempts to stand but my weight throws him off and he staggers back, falling and my shoulder bashes against the cabinet.
“You’re protecting Reed!” Incredulity is clear in his voice and for the first time in my life, I’m afraid of him.
“Please! Please! Mulberry.” My world spins and my body trembles pressed tightly against Cillian’s hard body. “Mulberry,” I whisper again and hate myself. “Please, Cillian. Please.”
“Let go of me, Kat.” His voice is lowered as the front door shuts. But I can’t let go yet. I have to give Reed time. Unable to speak, I shake my head.
“I need you to let me go.” Betrayal sinks into his words.
“I can’t, Cillian. Please. Please just … I can’t.”
Kat
My hands won’t stop shaking, not even as I clean up the chunks of glass and the shards of ceramic from the debris left behind from Reed and Cill’s fight.
The table’s broken and Cill’s face is already bruised on the right side across his sharp jawline. Tears spill silently as I clean up the mess, attempting any semblance of sanity.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat in a whisper as I pull my legs into my chest, leaning against the counter and feeling the cold against my heated cheek.
Everything happened too quickly, far too quickly and it’s at odds with how slow and long the last four years have been.
More importantly, everything is broken. It was always the three of us and when Cill went away, time shredded any chance of us staying the same.
Cill’s hands run through his hair as he paces in the threshold.
I’m grateful Reed’s gone and they’ve stopped. I’m grateful Cill knows because he needed to. And that’s all I’m grateful for.
I wish I would fucking die right now. Truly, watching the pain Cill’s in, I pray for death as I choke on my sobs and apologies.
“I need to ride,” he says and I can only nod.
I swallow thickly and agree with him. “Okay,” I manage and then the selfish part of me spills out when I say, “Promise me you’ll come home.”
“You still love me?” he questions as he stands by the broken table, towering over me as I’m on my knees and it’s torture that he has to ask.
I did this. I deserve to feel this hell that rages inside of me. The turmoil causes my cheeks to burn.
“Come with me now.”
“Cill?”
“I can’t stay here. You fucked him here, didn’t you?” His words slap across my face and all I can do is nod.
“I don't want my bike right now,” he decides, his tone holding no negotiation. “Put on your clothes and get in the car.”
I can barely look him in the eye as I push up off the ground and brush past him to get clothes, but he grips me first. His hand lands on my arm and pushes me against the wall.
My back hits the threshold and before I can object, before I can do anything but gasp, his lips are on mine.
My body’s reaction is instant, holding him back for dear life. My pulse races and my blood heats.
His kiss is possessive, harsh and brutal. But it’s him. He kisses me and I savor it, in case it’s the last.
When he stops, he doesn’t move anything but his lips away from mine and I stand there breathless and waiting for judgment.
His gaze moves to my shoulder, where there’s a small scrape when he asks, “Are you all right?”
Nodding gently, ever so gently so he doesn’t move, so he doesn’t let me go, I tell him, “I’m fine.”
With his forehead pressed against mine he whispers, “Get dressed. Now.”
I do as I’m told, quickly dressing to make myself presentable. All the while my thoughts race, the regrets and the raging emotion.
My heart pounds as I make my way downstairs to a waiting Cillian. He gets in my way when I try to take the keys. He doesn’t say anything, just pushes past me and gets into the driver’s seat.
A minute later we’re speeding down the street away from the city and thankfully the opposite direction of the club and Reed’s place.
All the while, I glance at a brokenhearted Cillian, hating that I put that scowl on his face. Hating the bruise that’s already marred his stubbled jaw. He barely looks at me and I struggle to speak. To tell him how much pain I was in. How it was a mistake … but how I fell in love with Reed and needed him.