When he finally pulled away, he freed my ankles and lifted my sated body up in his arms.
“How many times did you come?” he murmured as he carried me out of the playroom.
“Oh. Um… Like, five? Maybe?” I was too sleepy to really think about it. I pressed my face against his hard chest, enjoying the way it rumbled as he laughed.
If that was what giving a blowjob was like, I wasn’t sure why I’d waited so long.
Because I needed Andrés, I realized, recognizing the truth in what he’d said to me earlier. I’d needed him to push past my fears and my weird tics and show me what my body was capable of.
I should be upset at the realization that I needed my scary captor in order to experience intimacy with a man, but he wasn’t all that scary, really. His scars might look mean, but he hadn’t forced me to suck his cock. He could have beaten me until I broke down and did anything he wanted, but he’d ensured that I enjoyed the experience, possibly even more than he did. He’d come once. I’d come… How many times?
I decided I was too tired to worry about it. Sighing in post-orgasmic contentment, I snuggled against Andrés’ chest and drifted in warm bliss.
Chapter 14
Somehow, everything started feeling routine. Andrés fed me, bathed me, teased me, and gave me the most mind-blowing orgasms. With the occasional spanking if I got too sassy. He still kept me chained to his bed while he was gone, but the stacks of comics he brought me every morning helped me pass the time.
It had been a week since he’d taken me into his playroom and taught me how to give him a blowjob. I’d had to suck him off several times since due to my penchant for cursing, but I didn’t hate the experience, so it wasn’t much of a deterrent, really.
For long stretches of time in the evenings, he’d tie me in various positions from the suspension point next to his desk. He claimed that he liked having something pretty to look at while he worked.
Pretty. I’d never t
hought of myself that way. Despite my fucked up situation, Andrés made me feel beautiful, desirable. And that made me feel powerful in a way I’d never known before. I’d always been confident in my hacking abilities, in the sharpness of my mind. But physically, I’d always felt out of place. Awkward and weird.
I didn’t have to worry about being awkward with Andrés. He simply moved my body where he wished, and with his guidance and instruction, I didn’t trip all over myself. I couldn’t get stuck in my own head and in my own insecurities when he handled me. His strong arms and dark eyes grounded me, keeping me focused on him rather than getting swept up in my racing thoughts.
But I wasn’t a fool, and no matter how much Andrés tried to condition me to want to be his pet, I wouldn’t cave. Maybe I did like the way he touched me, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still intent on escaping him. I had a life to get back to, and I refused to spend my days as the plaything for an evil drug lord.
Evil. I often had to remind myself of what Andrés did for his business. He petted me and doted on me, and it would have been much easier on my psyche if I’d just allowed myself to fall into a fantasy of being his cossetted, kinky girlfriend.
But I couldn’t forget that all the expensive nerdy gifts he brought me had been purchased with drug money. Money that came from trafficking Bliss and selling innocent women like Lauren.
Not to mention that all of it was a manipulation to tame me. To make me docile and obedient so I’d work for his brother without trying to get a message back to my friends at the Bureau the second I had access to a computer.
I’d certainly become docile, despite my best efforts. He kept me drunk on pleasure, and if I did start getting too bold, a sound spanking or his cock in my mouth would subdue me.
For a few days, I’d internally railed at myself that I should have been stronger than this. But beating myself up about enjoying Andrés’ kinky games wasn’t going to help me escape. I needed my full wits about me, and self-loathing was a distraction I couldn’t afford. I could give him my body, as long as I kept my mind. Submitting kept me safe from being punished again. It was the smart thing to do, not weakness.
I didn't bother to look up from reading Watchmen when the door opened. Most days, I tried my best not to look at Lauren directly. Her eyes were so disturbing, and the only time anything sparked in them, it was resentment. She clearly would have preferred to be Master Andrés' pet to being drugged and whored out to dozens of men.
After facing the reality of captivity with Andrés, I suspected I'd prefer my situation, too.
And that realization was so disturbing, I'd rather ignore Lauren than face it head-on.
I gasped when strong fingers fisted around the collar at my nape, pulling me up off the pillows.
"Andrés," I forced out, struggling to speak with the collar tight around my throat. "What are you doing here?"
Lauren hadn't brought me lunch yet, so it couldn't be past midday. He never returned this early.
I looked up at him, alarmed at the almost violent way he was handling me. His dark eyes were fixed on his task: unlocking the chain from my collar. As soon as it fell away, he lifted me up and tossed me over his shoulder, knocking the air from my chest.
"Put me down!" I demanded, twisting in his hold as panic spiked.
He hadn't spoken to me, he wouldn't look at me. Anger was evident in the stiff way he held me, the too-sharp smack of his hand against my upper thigh.
Fear fluttered in my chest, my heartbeat picking up speed. This wasn't my indulgent captor who cradled me against his chest and kissed me. This man who held me so dispassionately scared the shit out of me. It reminded me of his cold detachment the night he'd strapped me to the spanking bench and flogged me.