I pushed off her and quickly stripped out of my clothes. After ensuring that her breaths were deep and even, I rushed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The water was close to boiling hot when I stepped under it, but I welcomed the discomfort. I deserved to feel pain after finding pleasure with Samantha when she was drugged and mindless.
I stayed under the burning spray for a long time, until I finally accepted the obvious course of action open to me. There was only one way to protect Samantha from my brother. And from myself.
Chapter 20
A few hours after slipping into unconsciousness, she finally stirred. I hadn’t been able to stop staring at her, desperate to memorize every curve and slope of her lovely face. She was still naked, but I’d put on my suit; armor between us.
She sat up and reached for me. “Thank you.”
I flinched away, my gut churning. “Don’t thank me. I fucked you while you were high out of your mind. I violated you.”
“No,” she said fiercely, grabbing my hand when I tried to retreat farther. I didn’t pull away this time. The warmth of her slender fingers around mine felt too good. “I begged you to. I needed you to. I was hurting. You helped me.”
I turned my face away, unable to look at her. Shame licked at my insides, but I still held her hand fast. “You shouldn’t have called me Master,” I said hollowly. “You shouldn’t have done that. I couldn’t—” I put an end to my pathetic excuses. “I’m not blaming you. You didn’t know what you were saying. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. You didn’t ask to be trapped with me. You didn’t ask to be beaten and raped.”
Her fingers firmed around mine. “You didn’t rape me,” she declared hotly. “Don’t you dare call it that. Don’t you dare.” She swiped frustrated tears from her cheeks. “You were helping me. I trusted you to help me. I love you, Andrés. And I meant what I said. You’re my Master.”
“Don’t call me that,” I barked.
She didn’t shrink away from the ire incited by my self-loathing. Instead, she scooted across the bed so she could get in my face. “You did nothing wrong,” she swore. “You saved me. You’ve been saving me this whole time. You’ve been protecting me from Cristian. He would have—”
“He would have what?” I shouted over her. “Ordered Lauren to slip you Bliss and whore you out? That’s what he wanted, Samantha. He wanted you to scream in pleasure while they violated you. He wanted them to send you back to me, broken and used. He wanted to punish me for my failure. I should have killed him.” My brother’s cruel, mocking laughter rolled through my mind. “But I didn’t. I ran back to you as soon as he told me. He fucking laughed while I ran away from him.”
“You got back to me in time.” She cupped my face in her hands, trying to capture my attention. “You saved me. You protected me.”
I grabbed her wrists. I squeezed hard enough to bruise, but I couldn’t bring myself to force her hands away from my face.
“I can’t protect you,” I rasped. “I’m a coward. You deserve better than me.”
“I don’t, and you’re not,” she asserted. “I want to be with you, Andrés. You’re not a coward.”
“I’m afraid of him,” I admitted on a bitter whisper.
“I know,” she said softly. “And I understand.”
“You don’t. My face…” I shuddered and cut my eyes away from hers.
She touched my scar, applying enough pressure to guide my gaze back to hers. “Tell me what he did to you.” It was a steady command, compelling me to confess my darkest secrets. I owed her this. I owed her everything, after what I’d done to her.
“It was three years ago,” I began, the words bleeding out of me. “Cristian made a deal with some Russians. He started dealing in Bliss. I’d never dared to challenge him, but I hated it. It was too far, too much. He was selling women, just like he sold my sister. So, I decided to stage a coup and take over the organization myself. I’d always been the one to keep the business running. I could do it without him. My life would be better without him.”
I paused, the phantom ice of Cristian’s knife slicing across my chest as memories threatened to suck me under. I’d never talked to anyone about this. I’d barely spoken to anyone at all since he’d disfigured me. Now, my words were no longer required at meetings with allies and enemies; my ruined face was threat enough of Cristian’s retribution against those who crossed him.
“He found out,” she surmised, quietly urging me to continue.
My jaw clenched. “One of my men betrayed me. Cristian came for me before I made a move against him. He strung me up in front of all of our people—the ones he hadn’t killed for following me. He cut me. He made me scream. He humiliated me. Then, he stitched me up himself to make sure the marks lasted.” An acidic tang washed over my tongue, and I swallowed back my nausea.
Samantha’s face was pale, devoid of the pretty flush I loved so much. “Andrés…” She said my name shakily before leaning in and brushing her lips over the deep furrow in my cheek. “I love you,” she said with the weight of an oath. “We’re going to get away from your brother. Together.”
Anguish twined around my heart. Yes, I’d get her away from Cristian. “I have something for you,” I said instead of responding to her fervent declaration.
I pulled her into my lap, holding her close with one arm around her shoulders. She sighed and pressed her cheek into my neck, trusting me completely.
I reached around her with my free hand and picked up the syringe from the cart beside the bed. Her brow furrowed with confusion as I uncapped it, but she didn’t cringe away or struggle.
“Lauren already gave me the birth control shot,” she said.
I tightened my hold around her, trapping her in place as I slid the needle into her arm. “It’s not birth control. I should have sent you away hours ago, but I had to s