His brows drew together. “She needs water.” He wasn’t addressing me, but sleep still fogged my mind too thickly for me to contemplate it.
“On the nightstand.” I recognized that voice, too. It was the one that haunted my dreams, the voice that had whispered through the darkness as the needle pricked my neck…
Marco.
I sat up with a gasp as the memory of his attack flooded my mind. The sharp
intake of air tormented my dry throat, and I coughed. My head throbbed and spun at my sudden movements. I swayed, and Joseph’s strong arm closed around my back before I could fall.
“It’s okay,” he promised. “You’re safe. Drink.”
A cool glass touched my lips, and I gulped down the water without thinking of protesting. I never had been able to deny Joseph when he issued those low, self-assured commands.
When I’d drained half the glass, he took it away and set it aside. The mattress dipped beside me as he sat on the bed, cuddling me close. I leaned into him, breathing him in as he pressed a tender kiss against my pounding head.
“Just breathe,” he cajoled. “You’re okay.”
“She’ll be fine. She just needs to stay hydrated.”
I stiffened at the sound of Marco’s voice. He was talking about me as though I wasn’t here, and I bristled. He’d shown no consideration for my wishes or wellbeing when he’d freaking drugged and kidnapped me.
I looked past Joseph to glare at Marco. His black eyes stared right back at me, implacable. He obviously didn’t feel a shred of remorse for what he’d done to me. His blank expression betrayed no emotion at all.
I shrank closer to Joseph. I looked back at him, unable to maintain eye contact with the dangerous man who loomed over us, his corded arms crossed over his massive chest. Marco oozed danger, a darkness that emanated from his soul. I’d felt it the first time I’d met him, and I definitely felt it now. He’d attacked me, abducted me. The memory of those strong arms pinning me against the wall and smothering my panicked screams made me shudder. Joseph’s hand stroked up and down my back, soothing me.
“I’ve got you,” he promised again.
I stared up into his beautiful eyes, imploring. “What’s happening? Why is he here?”
I recalled Marco telling me that he was taking me to Joseph. I wasn’t frightened of the man I loved, but I didn’t understand why he wasn’t shielding me from his terrifying friend. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t coming to my rescue and taking me back to my apartment at Harvard.
“He’s here to protect you, just like I am.”
Joseph’s words didn’t make any sense.
“He kidnapped me.” There was no way Marco was trying to protect me. He was my enemy, a threat. He certainly wasn’t a white knight, not like Joseph. Joseph had always kept me safe, defending me from crass college boys who wanted to touch me without my permission. He wouldn’t allow his scary friend to get away with abducting me.
“To keep you safe,” Joseph countered calmly, but his eyes tightened with anxiety. “I’m sorry, Ashlyn. This is my fault.” His arm firmed around me. “But I can’t leave you alone and at risk. I tried, and it didn’t work.”
My mind churned, struggling to piece together what he was saying. My heart had shattered the night he’d walked out of my life. Now, he was trying to tell me why, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“What are you saying? Why did you leave me?” My voice was small, the familiar pain of his loss stabbing through my chest. He might be holding me, but that didn’t fully erase the torment he’d put me through when he’d left.
“I’m not… good for you.” He stumbled over the admission. “I don’t deserve you. I knew it from the beginning, so I tried to keep my distance. I saw you at the bar for weeks, but I didn’t let myself near you. Then, that asshole Stu touched you, and I couldn’t hold back. It was selfish of me.”
I remembered that night vividly. Joseph had always served me free drinks, and he’d lingered at the bar as he pressed the plastic cups into my hand, his eyes devouring me. I’d doubted the attraction since he hadn’t made a move, but then one night, a frat boy had grabbed me. Joseph pulled him off me and escorted me home. From that moment on, we’d been inseparable. The relationship had been short, but I’d never felt so connected to any man. I’d fallen for Joseph, hard and fast.
But then, he left. And I still didn’t understand why.
“What do you mean?” I pressed. “Why do you think you don’t deserve me? All you ever did was protect me and make me happy. I…” I stopped myself from confessing my feelings for him. We’d never gotten to the point of exchanging the words I love you. With the uncertainty that plagued me, I knew now wasn’t the time.
His lips pressed to a thin line, and his eyes dropped so he was no longer looking at me. He was shutting down, shutting me out.
“Tell me what’s going on,” I demanded, frustrated. I was rarely so assertive with Joseph—he usually took the lead—but when he was trying to isolate himself from me, I couldn’t allow it. Especially when I needed to know what the hell was happening. He wasn’t really answering any of my questions.
“I don’t understand why you’re being such an angsty teenager, Joseph,” Marco said, his voice clipped with annoyance that mirrored my own. “If you won’t tell her, I will.”
Marco paused, giving him a moment to speak. Joseph swallowed hard and kept his gaze averted from mine. He still didn’t put an inch of space between us, as though he couldn’t stop touching me. I didn’t want him to. After a month of emptiness without him, I craved his nearness.