“I’ve watched you for years, Carmen. I think you’re too much of a realist to pine for happy endings, but I do suspect that you’re lonely.”
My lungs squeezed a little tighter with each of his brazen declarations. He was making no effort to conceal the depths of his obsession with me, and that was beyond disturbing. I knew in my gut that these confessions weren’t part of his mind games. He had no reason to hide the truth from me when he had me successfully caged. His only objective now was to extract answers to the questions he’d pondered for a startlingly long time.
I swallowed hard and lifted my lip in a sneer, struggling for disdain. “This obsession of yours is extremely fucked up.”
“I know it is, and I don’t care. I think you understand that about me by now. I wanted you, I took you, and now, you’re mine. You won’t be able to shame me into apologizing for it. But you are being rather rude,” he said, his tone dropping to the silky, dangerous cadence I was coming to recognize all too well. “I asked about your plans for the day. Aren’t you going to ask about mine?”
The sudden shift from threatening to conversational gave me emotional whiplash, and I leaned back in my chair, physically recoiling from the capricious monster sitting across from me.
“I don’t need to ask what you’re doing with your day.” My attempt at derision was ruined by the tremor in my voice. “You’re fracturing what’s left of my cartel and picking up the pieces for yourself.”
“Yes, I suppose that would be an unpleasant topic for you,” he mused, and I wasn’t certain if that realization was genuine or if he was mocking me. “I am sorry that your home was destroyed, kitten. That was Rodríguez’s call, not mine.”
I shifted in my seat, completely off-balance. We’d barely finished breakfast, and already, Stefano had me dizzy with confusion.
“Don’t apologize,” I requested.
“Why?”
I studied his furrowed brow, the tightness around his depthless eyes.
I blew out a sigh, resigning myself to answer honestly. “Because I can’t tell when you actually mean it.”
His head cocked to the side, and I suspected he was considering his feelings rather than my words. Watching him attempt to emote was bizarre and more than a little unsettling.
I will always try with you, Carmen. I recalled the promise that he made last night, before he cleaned and bandaged my feet.
“I mean it if you’re upset,” he concluded. “I’m sorry that you lost your home.”
I believed him, and the shock of that realization lowered my guard enough that the truth popped out of my mouth. “I’m not upset about the house. I’ll miss some of my more treasured possessions, but that place never felt like home. At least, not what home is supposed to feel like.”
His mouth quirked in a frown, and I was coming to recognize the strange physical signs that indicated he was actually puzzling over emotional concepts.
“And what do you think home is supposed to feel like?”
My heart squeezed, and I had to puzzle over that particular concept, too.
“I don’t know,” I finally murmured. “It’s supposed to feel like safety, I guess.”
“You didn’t feel safe behind those fortress walls?”
What use are walls if the monsters already live within them?
I locked that painful question deep in my chest. The admission would make me far too vulnerable, and I’d revealed too much to Stefano already.
I shrugged. “The walls didn’t do me any good when Rodríguez bombed my estate. They didn’t keep you out.”
He stared at me for a long moment, his dark eyes so intent on mine that I feared he was peering straight into my soul.
“You’re safe here with me, Carmen,” he declared with the weight of an oath.
I shook my head, sorrow weighing heavy on my heart when I should have burned with defiant rage. “You don’t understand what safety means.”
A person who was incapable of experiencing fear couldn’t understand the debilitating horror of never feeling safe.
“Then explain it to me.”
When I didn’t respond right away, he continued on, seeking a solution. “The walls around your family’s property are still standing. I could build something new for you.”
“A new cage is still a cage,” I said bitterly. “And it wouldn’t be for me. You claimed my territory for yourself. You can do whatever you want with your property.”
He didn’t say anything for several seconds, his jaw working as though chewing over words he wasn’t speaking aloud.
“I don’t like this, kitten,” he finally admitted. “I don’t like when you’re sad.”
“Well, tough shit,” I shot back. “That’s the thing about feelings, Stefano. You can’t control someone else’s.”
His sculpted features hardened to stone, an unyielding mask of determination. “I can try.”
He stood and began to stalk toward me, eyeing me with predatory focus. I jolted to my feet, instinct driving me to evade capture.