“I don’t think you’re useless,” I clarified, my tone light and teasing, even though I meant every word. Raúl had proven many times over that he was a very capable man in other ways. “You keep me safe,” I added more softly, the truth leaving my lips without thought.
He stepped closer, entering my personal space. All levity left his expression, his features settling into serious, stony planes. “That’s right. I keep you safe.”
His huge hand settled atop mine on the counter. The warm weight trapped my much smaller hand, but the firm, unyielding pressure pushed a gentle wave of calm through my body.
Light flashed through his intense, forest green stare, and his square jaw took on a commanding tilt. “You’re staying here with me, Marisol. I want to make sure you understand that. You’re not my hostage anymore—the cartel has no hold over you. But I do.” He leaned in slowly, so his body heat pulsed against my skin. “You will not run from me again.”
Instantly, the comforting weight of his hand became confining. I tried to pull free, but he held me fast, his face hardening to granite.
“I will not let you go.” Each word was enunciated with the weight of an oath.
My breath caught in my throat.
This is the price. This is how he expects me to repay the luxuries he’s offered me.
I was the payment. My freedom. My body.
Nausea churned my stomach, and I turned my face away. “You promised you wouldn’t.” The whispered plea was roughened by pain. For a few, blissful hours, I’d believed that he wouldn’t violate me. I’d known this was too good to be true.
But the crumbling sensation in my chest served as a cruel rebuke for my foolish delusion. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to hope for even one second that I’d be completely safe with Raúl. He was a vicious drug lord without morals or empathy. How could I have expected anything different?
His thick fingers curled beneath my chin. I flinched at his touch, but he persisted, cradling my jaw to forcibly redirect my gaze to his. He still handled me as carefully as if I was made of porcelain, but his firm refusal to permit my evasion was enough to coerce my compliance.
“I meant what I said. I will never hurt you like that. I will never rape you.” He growled the fierce declaration, but his hold remained gentle on my face.
I blinked rapidly, struggling to clear the oncoming wash of tears from my eyes. I wanted so badly to believe him, but no one gave something away for nothing in return. That wasn’t how the world worked.
“But you won’t let me leave,” I said softly. “I know what that means. I know you want me.” I’d seen the hunger in his eyes ever since he’d captured me, and when he’d overwhelmed me with his soul-searing, domineering kiss, there’d been no doubt of his desire.
His sharp stare pierced my chest, pinning me in place. “And I know you want me, too. I won’t have to force you.”
My heart skipped a beat, and my mouth went dry. When he looked at me like this—like he knew every single one of my erotic secrets—my body couldn’t help but respond. All the traitorous pleasure points I’d forced myself to forget had been reawakened by his possessive kiss.
The return of my sensual nature was so intense that it felt like an overwhelming, uncontrollable force of nature; something that surged within me, overriding reason and driving me to reckless wantonness.
It scared me. I couldn’t trust myself when lust overtook me. I’d thrown myself into it with wild abandon once before, and I’d lost everything because of my selfish indulgence. Riding this wave of treacherous ecstasy was a giddy, thrilling, addictive adventure. I’d embraced it without a second thought when I’d fallen for Gehovany, too naïve to understand that something that burns so white-hot will ultimately destroy.
And now, I felt the swell of that wave with Raúl, excited by the fiery chemistry that I shared with a dangerous man. Even though he’d been nothing but good to me so far, he was an undeniably bad man. He was a criminal, and I’d seen him commit murder right before my eyes as though it was nothing.
Gehovany’s cruel nature paled in comparison to Raúl’s life of casual brutality.
I shook my head in weak denial. I wouldn’t bother saying that I didn’t want Raúl—we both knew that would be a lie—but I could deny my own compulsion to surrender. I refused to give in to my darkest impulses, no matter how they tempted me. It wasn’t worth the pain.
I doubted I’d survive the fallout a second time. And how many people around me would suffer the consequences for my sin?
Never again.
“I can’t,” I whispered. He hadn’t released my jaw, but I dropped my eyes, hiding behind my lowered lashes. “I can’t give you want you want. If that’s what you expect in exchange for all this…” I plucked at the pretty dress he’d bought for me. “I can’t stay with you.”