“Mistake?”
“I ran myself ragged,” Perrin said. “I pushed myself too hard.” He made a fist, slamming it into the corner post of the bed. “I should know better, Master Luhhan. I always do this. I work myself so hard, I make myself useless the next day.”
“Perrin, lad?” Master Luhhan said, leaning forward. “Today, I’m more worried that there’s not going to be a next day.”
Perrin looked up at him, frowning.
“If there was ever a time to push yourself, this is it,” Master Luhhan said. “We’ve won one fight, but if the Dragon Reborn doesn’t win his… Light, I don’t think you’ve made a mistake at all. This is our last chance at the forge. This is the morning that the big piece is due. Today, you just keep working until it’s done.”
“But if I collapse…”
“Then you gave it your all.”
“I could fail because I’ve run myself out of strength.”
“Then at least you didn’t fail because you held back. I know it sounds bad, and maybe I’m wrong. But… well, everything you’re talking about is good advice for an average day. This isn’t an average day. No, by the Light it’s not.”
Master Luhhan took Perrin by the arm. “You may see in yourself someone who lets himself go too far, but that’s not the man I see. If anything, Perrin, I’ve seen in you someone who has learned to hold himself back. I’ve watched you hold a teacup with extreme delicacy, as if you feared breaking it with your strength. I’ve seen you clasp hands with a man, holding his hand in yours with such care, never squeezing too hard. I’ve watched you move with deliberate reserve, so that you don’t shove anyone or knock anything over.
“Those were good lessons for you to learn, son. You needed control. But in you, I’ve seen a boy grow into a man who doesn’t know how to let those barriers go. I see a man who’s frightened of what happens when he gets a little out of control. I realize you do what you do because you’re afraid of hurting people. But Perrin… it’s time to stop holding back.”
“I’m not holding back, Master Luhhan,” Perrin protested. “Really, I promise.”
“Is that the case? Well, maybe you’re right.” Master Luhhan suddenly smelled embarrassed. “Look at me. Here, acting like it’s my business. I’m not your father, Perrin. I’m sorry.”
“No,” Perrin said as Master Luhhan stood to leave. “I no longer have a father.”
Master Luhhan gave him a pained look. “What those Trollocs did…”
“My family wasn’t killed by Trollocs,” Perrin said softly. “It was Padan Fain.”
“What? Are you certain?”
“One of the Whitecloaks told me,” Perrin said. “He wasn’t lying.”
“Well, then,” Luhhan said. “Fain… he’s still out there, isn’t he?”
“Yes,” Perrin said. “He hates Rand. And there’s another man. Lord Luc. You remember him? He’s been ordered to kill Rand. I think… I think they’re both going to try for him, before this is over.”
“Then you’ll have to make sure they don’t succeed, won’t you?”
Perrin smiled, then turned toward the footsteps outside. Chiad entered a moment later, and he could smell her annoyance that he’d sensed her coming. Bain followed, another figure in complete white. And after them…
Masuri. Not the Aes Sedai he would have chosen. Perrin felt his lips tighten.
“You do not like me,” Masuri said. “I know this.”
“I have never said that,” Perrin replied. “You were a great help to me during our travels.”
“And yet, you do not trust me, but that is beside the point. You wish to have your strength restored, and I am probably the only one willing to do it for you. The Wise Ones and the Yellows would paddle you like a babe for wanting to leave.”
“I know,” Perrin said, sitting down on the bed. He hesitated. “I need to know why you were meeting with Masema behind my back.”
“I come here to fulfill a request,” Masuri said, smelling amused, “and you tell me you won’t let me do you that favor until I respond to interrogation?”
“Why’d you do it, Masuri?” Perrin said. “Out with it.”
“I planned to use him,” the slender Aes Sedai said.