Weekend Wife (Sassy in the City 1)

I took a deep breath. I was so far in, it wasn’t that I had a choice. I couldn’t switch gears on my career now. I could however, save myself from falling head over ass for Grant.

Keep it light. “Well, I don’t want you to lose your shirt so I guess I’ll keep at it.”

Grant kissed my forehead. “You’re badass and don’t forget it. You got hit by a cab and took it on the chin.”

That made me smile, even when I didn’t want to. “True.”

“Can I tell you something?” he asked, shifting his hands into mine and pulling my arms down by my sides.

“What?”

“I lied when I said I don’t have any fears.”

That startled me and I didn’t say anything, just waited. I had a feeling Grant was about to reveal a truth he didn’t share with a lot of people, if anyone.

I wanted to hear what he was going

to say. I needed to hear it. I was afraid to hear it.

Maybe it would be something horrible that would save me from the torment of falling in love with him.

Or maybe it would seal the deal and I would be screwed.

I couldn’t believe I was going to get real with Leah.

But she had been honest and vulnerable and not only did it seem unfair to her to let her think that I was a man without any baggage, I felt like she wasn’t like my family and co-workers. She wasn’t going to judge me or scoff or perceive me displaying any emotion at all as a sign of weakness. I had learned a long time ago in my life that the smartest form of protection was icy indifference.

I didn’t want to be either icy or indifferent with Leah.

“I’ve spent most of my life alone,” I told her. “And sometimes I think I’m going to be like Ebenezer Scrooge, old and surrounded by wealth, but nothing else.”

Holy fuck, I’d said it out loud and the earth hadn’t opened up and swallowed me. She wasn’t rolling her eyes or laughing or acting like I was ridiculous.

Instead she squeezed my hands and said, “You had a lonely childhood, didn’t you?”

I nodded. “Yes. My parents were never around and I wasn’t really allowed to mingle much with other kids, except at the park. Rose was my only constant, and then my mother fired her when I was twelve because she thought I was too old for a nanny. Which I was.” The memory still made my nostrils flare and my stomach clench. “But Rose was my mother, for all practical and emotional purposes. And they cut me off from the only person who had ever loved me and wouldn’t even let me interact with her.”

“Oh, God, that’s horrible.” Leah’s thumbs gently rubbed over the backs of my hands. “I can’t even imagine.” She did look horrified. “Why weren’t you allowed to see her?”

“My mother said my affection for Rose was unnatural.” I shook my head. “Apparently, it’s fine to love your nanny at five years old but at twelve my mother deemed it weird. So Rose disappeared and I got sent to boarding school.”

And that was the day I stopped caring about trying to gather my parents’ love and started doing what I wanted.

“That’s just cruel, Grant. I’m so sorry.” She kissed me softly. “But you can choose to live your life now however you want. You don’t have to be Ebenezer. You’re not a Scrooge now, I can tell you that. You’ve been nothing but considerate of my ankle injury and generous with tips and gifts. I think you’re a good guy. You can love your job and work long hours and still be a man with a personal life.”

Maybe she had a point. Maybe I wasn’t as cold-hearted as I thought I was sometimes.

My moral compass was way more on target than my mother’s, that was for sure. I avoided relationships so I didn’t hurt anyone. Maybe who I was hurting was mostly myself.

“That’s true in theory, but I’m not good at the juggling act and I don’t want to hurt someone. Especially not someone I care about.” Like her. Like Leah.

Leah tilted her head and those expressive eyes studied me. “Grant. Don’t make an adult woman’s choice for her. If she wants to love you, let her. She’s a big girl and knows that any relationship carries the risk of being hurt.”

Was she talking about herself? I had no fucking clue.

All I knew was that I wanted her to be talking about herself.

I wasn’t going to go there though. Not yet. Maybe after this weekend we could move into something… else. Something more. Something that wasn’t fake.