“Okay, intervention time,” Felicia said, approaching my bed. “This has gone too far.”
“It has, hasn’t it?” I asked her. “It’s all gone too far. I should have stayed in my lane, remembered who I was.”
“I swear to God, I’m going to slap you,” Felicia said, reaching for my bottle. “You’ve lost your mind. Stay in what lane? Fuck that. Starving actress isn’t your identity, it’s just your current circumstance. And don’t tell me you of all people believe that bullshit that you don’t deserve to be in their world of privilege. Who are they? People with money. That’s it. They’re no better than any of us.”
“I don’t mean they’re better than me. Just that I don’t belong there. Taking handouts from rich people. I need to succeed on my own, right?” I didn’t resist this time when she reached for the wine. “But I am in love with Grant and now I’m never going to have him. This sucks. Everything sucks.”
“Get rid of this,” Felicia said, shoving the bottle at Javier.
“Gladly,” he said. He went down the hall just as the buzzer rang.
“Come on,” Felicia said. “Sit up.” She took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s going to be okay, eventually. Maybe you can talk to Grant.”
Javier could be heard talking to someone and he reappeared in my doorway. “You got a package.”
My heart soared. A gift from Grant? An indicator he wanted to talk to me, to work things out?
My roommate handed me a flat envelope. I frowned and opened it. Two one-hundred-dollar bills fell out. “What the hell is this?”
I shook the envelope. There was no note. I put a bill in each of my hands and held them out to my roommates. “Here. One for each of you.”
Javier reached out to take it but Felicia slapped his hand. “Stop it. She’s loaded and has no clue what she’s doing.”
My phone buzzed. Felicia picked it up off my dresser. “You have a text from your boss. He says you can come back to work tomorrow.”
“Really?” I grabbed the phone from her. She was right. I could go back to work. “Thank God.” I didn’t even care to question it. I was just grateful and I shot off a response that may or may not have had a dozen exclamation points and heart eye emojis.
“Why don’t you get up and take a shower?” Felicia asked.
I thought about it.
I was an optimist. “I can do that.”
Felicia was scooping up piles of designer clothes crumpled on my floor. “I’m steaming these and hanging them up. This is a crime against fashion.”
“Thanks, Felicia.” My head was spinning. I reached for a water bottle and took a big swig. “You’re awesome and I love you.” I would have said it sober but drunk it sounded even more effusive. “You’re my best friend.”
“I love you too.” Felicia stood there with a pile of laundry loaded to her chin. “And maybe you don’t want to hear this but you can either ignore all the opportunities that came from meeting Grant or you can appreciate them. Yes, you have a broken heart and I’m not discounting that, but you have an audition you never could have gotten on your own. Maybe that’s why the universe led him to you. That’s what you can learn and take away from this.”
“You’re right. I don’t want to hear that,” I said, even as I thought there might be some truth to it. “But you have a point. I need to appreciate this audition and I need to be prepared for it, not nursing a hangover.”
“Good girl.” She nodded approvingly.
I left my room, holding on to the wall of the narrow hallway for support. Javier was getting an iced coffee out of the fridge. He gave me a cautious glance. “Do you need help?”
“I’ve got it.” I climbed the single step into our bathroom. It felt like Mount Everest. My hand was shaking. “I think I wrecked myself.”
“That you did.” Javier poured a glass of water. “Here. Drink this. And for the record, don’t listen to Felicia. The universe wasn’t trying to teach you anything. You met a guy and you fell in love with him. That’s not meant to be a lesson. It’s meant to be a relationship. If I were you, I’d just go and talk to him. If you care about someone, you don’t give up until you’ve exhausted all possibilities that the relationship will work.”
His words hit me full force. My face got hot and I stared at him, heart racing.
He was one hundred percent right.
“Javi, you’re the wisest man in the world.”
“Fuck yeah, I am.”
After I detoxed from pickling myself with wine and working my “please forgive me” shift at work tomorrow, I was going to Grant’s office and we were going to talk. I did know Grant, and he wasn’t a man who confessed feelings if he didn’t have them.