Now that my eyes were studiously focused above the waist, and I’d dragged my sex-deprived mind out of the gutter, I was amazed at how at ease Maddox was with my son. He’d been made to hold a baby, and as I reached for a towel, I felt a yearning for a father for Sully for the first time ever.
This was all really confusing, dangerous, and potentially disastrous.
I needed sleep and sex, clearly.
Towel in hand I got as close as was necessary to take Sully safely without touching any of Maddox’s naked body. My cheeks were hot. “Maybe I can take
a shower after you,” I said. “I think I’m on day three without one.”
“You could hop in now,” he said. “There’s room.”
Maddox said it like it was totally normal. Like he wasn’t naked in front of a woman who’d never seen him naked before. Like he had seen me naked before, which he most definitely hadn’t. Like we were a couple with a baby and not old friends, if you could even really say that. It wasn’t like I knew Maddox. We’d never talked about anything real. He’d just always been around our house with Steven.
This new dynamic was bizarre for me.
“Why are you teasing me?” I asked, genuinely curious. And again, no filter. “It was always the other way around. I teased you because I was older.”
His eyebrows shot up as I took Sully from him and wrapped him fully in the towel. “Am I teasing you? Is that what I’m doing?”
“Well. Yes. Aren’t you?”
He put his head under the water and ran his hand over it. A few water drops arched out and landed on my arm. So much wet skin. Everywhere, just skin and wet. Lord, I was losing it.
“I was flirting, not teasing. There is a difference.”
That befuddled me. “Why?”
“Because you’re an attractive woman and I’m a normal guy who likes to flirt with women. Or maybe I’m just being friendly.”
I backed up, needing space. The room was warm and humid and I was having a very difficult time not looking where I shouldn’t look. “This arrangement isn’t going to work if you do that. Say suggestive things all the time.”
“Why? It’s not a big deal.” Maddox stared at me with those dark eyes. Intently. “Is it?”
What the hell was he really asking me? I had no idea.
I was flustered and I took another step backward. “Maddy. Stop. You’re barely out of high school and I’m a mother. You’re going to be my nanny. We have to be professional. Maybe that’s not the right word, but you know what I mean. Friends who are helping each other. Platonic friends. Not flirty. You’re like a little brother to me.”
The look he gave me was smoldering. His nostrils flared. His shoulders tensed. He paused with the bottle of shampoo in his hand. “Sure,” he said, his casual voice completely at odds with the intensity of his expression. “Whatever you want, Savannah. I promise not to flirt with you.”
Then he grabbed the curtain and pulled it shut, blocking him from my view.
Good. Great. Perfect. Glad we had established boundaries. That was the way it needed to be.
I had no business behaving in any other way than as a big sister to Maddox.
So why did I feel so disappointed?
Because I didn’t look at him and see a kid brother anymore. I hadn’t known him in years and he was different now. It was terrifying.
I took my son out of the bathroom and to my bedroom to get him diapered and dressed.
Maybe it was time to start dating again. Over a year without a date or sex was clearly too long.
I was an eternal optimist. I believed in a happily ever after. I could watch romantic comedies for seventy-two hours straight. I loved love.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t very good at it personally.
My friends all told me I was too quick to overlook red flags and to give people second chances. The first was probably accurate. The second I stood by. Everyone deserves a second chance. But my bullshit meter was definitely broken.