I wished more than anything as I grabbed my purse that I could do the casual sex thing. If I could just have the physical release and the satisfaction of being touched intimately by another person and not worry about it being anything more than that, I would be set. I’d be one happy mom and woman.
But I wouldn’t even know where to start to just have a hookup.
As it turned out Jackson Martin did, unfortunately.
After I waved goodbye to Maddox and Sully and took a car service twenty blocks to where I was meeting Jackson, I went in to a super cool, super trendy bar. The vibe and the fashion excited me, I had to admit. This was where everyone came to have an Instagram moment. The bar even had the selfie wall, where you stood in front of it and the mural art painted on the wall gave you angel wings in your picture.
I spotted Jackson in the DJ booth, so I sat down at the bar, checking out the scene. I couldn’t order alcohol, so once I asked for a water, the bartender’s smile fell off and I got the “don’t waste my time” expression. He filled a glass and slapped it in front of me, water sloshing over the rim.
My date had told me he wasn’t working, so I wasn’t sure what he was doing in the booth talking to the DJ, but it was clearly him. He was tall, thin, and had red hair, and it had been easy to find pictures on him online. It would be impossible to mistake him based on the hair alone. If this guy told me he wasn’t attracted to gingers, I was going to lose all faith in dating altogether.
Five minutes ticked by before he finally made his way to the bar. He spotted me and gave me a wave. But instead of directly coming over to me, he actually stopped at the end of the bar and chatted up two blondes in their early twenties. Really? I was starting to get annoyed.
Then he moved toward me, finally, and gave me a big smile. “Hey! Sorry about that, business, you know, you have to make sure everyone is having a good time. It’s hell to stay relevant these days.”
I did understand that. Xander worried about that very issue constantly. “Oh, I get it. There is always someone behind us ready to be the next big whatever.” I stuck my hand out. “I’m Savannah, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Jackson. Thanks for meeting up with me.”
His smile was pleasant. I liked his height. I felt no particular attraction though.
“You’re not getting a drink?” he asked, gesturing to my water.
“No, not tonight.” I didn’t want to get into the why with him. For some reason I couldn’t pinpoint, I didn’t want to talk about my son with him. “So, is this where you usually work?” I wasn’t sure what to call DJing. Where you drop records? Where you spin the hits? Everything I considered saying sounded ridiculous in my head.
I had the sudden reminder that I had never been a club kid and so now, years later, this really wasn’t my scene. It had never been my scene, so now it felt especially awkward. I was dressed completely wrong, which I had known I would be. I just hadn’t wanted to waste another sexy dress on a first date. It felt like a man had to earn the tight dress. In a way, not being on display in a short dress, so similar to all these girls around me, made me feel more confident.
This was who I was.
Jackson gave me a low smile. “Do we really need to do that whole small talk bullshit thing? Where we pretend to get to know each other?”
I blinked. Didn’t we? “I thought that was the whole point, to get to know each other.”
“I don’t need to know your middle name to peel you out of that sweater.”
Um…
“That’s your plan?” I asked. “To have sex tonight?”
He frowned. “Yeah, of course. Isn’t that your plan?”
I sipped my water and fished an ice cube out with my tongue. I crunched it hard with my teeth, disappointed. “No, it wasn’t. I thought this was a date, not a random hookup.”
To his credit, he looked surprised. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I guess that was a total miscommunication. Dakota told me you’re a new mom and that you needed to feel like a woman, get some D in the V and nothing else.” He put his hand on his chest “That I can do. I can give you as much dick as you want. I can’t date you, though. I can’t even keep a fucking succulent alive, I can’t date a woman with a baby.”
Really, Dakota? I was going to kill her. That’s how she presented this whole thing to Jackson? I actually felt bad for him now. Here he thought he was going to get laid and I had just disabused him of that notion. “Oh my God, yes, this is a huge misunderstanding and I kind of want to kick Dakota’s butt right now. I’m sorry, she should have never made it sound like that. While I appreciate your very generous offer of unlimited dick, I don’t think I’m really wired like that.”
Jackson made a face. “This is actually kind of funny, isn’t it? I can’t believe I said I can give you all the dick you want, I’m sorry. That was a douchebag thing to say.”
“Under the right circumstances, it would actually be sexy,” I assured him. “If everyone is on the same page, I say lean in to that. It’s a good dirty talk maneuver.”
He laughed. “You’re being cool about this whole thing. I hope you’re not offended that I said I can’t date a single mom.”
I waved his comment off. “Oh, please, no. I think it’s awesome that you understand that about yourself and are being honest. I totally grasp not everyone wants an insta-family. Hell, my son’s father didn’t even want him.”
“Now that’s shitty,” he said. “Once it happens, you have to be all in, whether it was planned or not.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I think so too. You’re also being very cool about this, too, by the way. I’m sorry I can’t fuck you.”