“At first, I thought it was the right thing for the girls, then I realized it was just a toxic environment. It’s been tough.”
Dakota was quiet for a minute. We were pulling onto our block. “It’s very complicated.”
Something about her tight voice made my gut clench. “It is.”
“I understand.”
“What do you understand?” I wasn’t sure what she was talking about.
“Why you can’t be impulsive. I get it.”
Was she talking about marriage? The questions I had posed to her in bed the other night? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure how to ask for clarification on what she was saying. Maybe she just meant it at face value. That she understood the girls were my priority.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked.
“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be saying.” That was the truth. I had zero clue what Dakota wanted from me right now. Specifically and generally.
“I don’t want to tell you what to say.”
“I don’t want that either.” Now I was totally lost. I pulled into the parking garage and into my assigned spot. I turned off the car and looked at her. “What is going on?”
“I don’t know. I’m just really confused about everything. I feel like we’re getting in deeper and deeper. Or at least, I am.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I felt so much rage that Bridget hasn’t called her daughters. Like, I wanted to scream at her. I feel really protective of Willow and Poppy.”
“Trust me, I want to scream every day.” I squeezed her knee. “I love that you care about them. It has been really
, really nice to have someone to share that worry with.”
Which still left us in the same spot as before. She was right. It was complicated.
“But it’s really not my place to be upset on their behalf, is it?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. “I don’t even know, Dakota.”
“I need to go pick up the girls from school now,” she said, putting her hand on the door handle.
“Wait a second.”
“What?” She turned back to me.
I kissed her. “I just wanted to do that.”
Dakota smiled. “Always the grumpy gentleman.”
That night she didn’t come to my room, which didn’t make me happy. I didn’t like feeling like there was a gulf growing between us, so I went to her room and I pulled her into the bathroom. I needed to touch her, to feel her, to keep a hold on that intimacy we shared.
To know she was mine.
I watched her orgasm in the mirror as I drove into her from behind and I knew what I knew.
I was in love with her.
I didn’t want to be without her.
Ever.
Chapter Fifteen
Willow was eating her birthday pancakes made by Brandon and looking cheerful, happy about her special day. He had told her he had arranged for her to try out for a traveling soccer team. She planned to spend the next two weeks in the gym practicing her somewhat rusty skills.