Love Me Again, Cowboy

“I have no doubt you will. When Malia Kalama sets her mind to something, she makes it happen. It’s a fact.”

This is mostly true, now that I think about it. “Well, if I get the part, we’ll probably start production in a few months. It’ll give me enough time to learn my lines. Then we’ll start shooting at the designated locations. Most of it will happen on a set in California, but there might be some off-sight locations as well. Like I said, I haven’t gotten all the details yet.”

“Is that it, a couple months of filming?”

“I’ll get short breaks even when filming. But no, that’s not it. After filming and photo shoots for promotional material, I’ll have some down time while they edit the film. Sometimes, we’ll have to re-shoot if they don’t like what they have. Then when the film is done, I’ll have a tour where we travel for the premieres and promotion.”

He’s rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “That’s a lot of time spent on one film,” he finally says. “A lot of time where you’ll be gone.”

He’s worried about what it will mean for our relationship, I realize. The acting life is something that I’ve been doing for years, but it’s all new to him. To reassure him, I scoot closer and intertwine my fingers with his. “I know being separated for any amount of time seems awful, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. I mean look at us now. We’ve been apart for eight years, and I’m very fond of you.” I squeeze his hand for emphasis. “If we can make it through that, then we can make it through a few weeks with the aid of FaceTime and quick plane rides. We can do it, right?” I give him a come-hither look, the one that says he’s everything to me.

A smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth. “I’ll take any time with you I can get.” He runs a finger over my knuckles. “I have a surprise for you.”

I give him a questioning gaze. “Surprise, huh? I do like surprises.”

“I know.”

He leads me to the other barn. Inside, several saddled horses are out and tethered to their stalls. Landon, Kitty, and Preston are all there and helping with last minute adjustments.

“Hi, guys,” I say to everyone. “Are we going for a ride?”

“Not us,” Landon says.

The sound of tires on gravel has me turning to see two vans coming down the main driveway. Jax gives me a smile and pulls me out of the barn. “We help out once a week with an organization called Healing Hearts and Hands,” he says. “We offer our horses and our assistance for equine therapy for kids with disabilities.”

“Really? That’s brilliant.” My excitement grows as the vans pull to a stop. “Back when I was in high school, I worked with children with disabilities for volunteer hours.”

“I remember. You said that you always wanted to give back the way Audrey Hepburn had throughout her life.”

I shade my eyes with my free hand to watch the vans pull up. In California, I donated my time every month until I got too busy with my role on Veronica Chase. I feel a bit shameful. I still donate money, but it’s not the same as donating time.

Jax squeezes my hand. “You were my inspiration for starting the equine therapy program here.”

I stare at him for a moment, touched that I could inspire such a beautiful thing to occur. “Me?”

He nods, smiling knowingly.

A thought occurs to me. “What if they recognize me? I’m not supposed to be here.”

Jax doesn’t look worried. “I had them all sign a gag order document. I had our lawyer draw it up based on the one your agent had me sign before your first lesson.”

A wave of relief washes over me.

A woman comes out of the van, and I step forward to greet her and the others filing out of the vehicles. Some of the caretakers recognize me and are a little starstruck, but I just use it as a fun icebreaker. Before long, I’m laughing and joking with the kids and the caretakers. This is my element, something I’m familiar with and love.

The kid’s faces light up when they spot the horses. It’s amazing how gentle the horses are, like they know exactly how precious their cargo is. I fall in love with each of the children. Their smiles and laughter are contagious and I feel so at ease with them. I can’t help but to compare it to being on a set. It’s the opposite. On set, everything is forced. Even though people say I’m a natural actress, that’s not how it is for me. It’s more like I’m a puppet following directions. But here with the kids, I’m just me and they respond to that. By the end of the day, my hair has two very uneven braids in it from ten-year-old Kaitlyn, and I’m apparently sixteen-year-old Mathew’s new girlfriend. This has Kitty cross, as she was his girlfriend last week.

As we help everyone back into the van, I’m genuinely sad to say goodbye.

“I’ll miss you guys,” I say. “Thank you for letting me join in today.”

They all wave, and Mathew blows kisses, which I catch and put on my cheek with a smile. He claps and gives me a winning smile.

Jax puts his arm around my shoulder. “I think I’m being replaced.”

“Oh, you definitely are,” I tease.

Kitty hangs up a bridle. “You were so good with them.”