I pull a weed from between some tomato plants. The sharp earthy scent follows. “What do you mean?”
“I mean what are you going to do about Jaxon and Audrey, long term? Are you planning on moving out here? Are they going to move to California? What's the plan?”
I knew she would bring this up at some point. If I’ve thought about it, then she definitely has. And my mother is never one to not say what’s on her mind. I toss the pulled weed into the bucket between us. “Can’t Jax and I just enjoy each other right now and see where the pieces fall?”
Mom leans over and closes the hole the pulled weed made in the garden bed. “You need to discuss these things. It’s important to plan, especially as you’re spending so much time together.”
“We kind of talked about my acting career. We’ll do the long-distance thing when we have to and be together as much as possible.”
She sits back on her heels. “Malia, that might be fine for you and Jaxon, but children need stability. You can’t raise a daughter long distance. You’re with someone who has a child now.”
I hate it when she still talks to me like I’m a child. I yank out another reluctant weed, scattering dirt on my pants in the process. “Yeah. I know, Mom.”
“Well, you need to not only take Jax’s feelings into consideration, but Audrey’s as well.”
I wipe the dirt from my jeans. “People raise children in Hollywood all the time,” I counter.
She tilts her head. “And how well does that usually work out for the kids?”
I wince. She’s right. A lot of kids raised in Hollywood end up with issues. I know some of them, and they all have therapists and pharmacies on speed dial.
She must see the truth in my expression because she places a hand over mine. “And do you really think Jaxon is the Hollywood type?”
“I think he’d be able to fit in wherever he goes.” But then I think about how Jaxon feels about lying about my rehab. He might be vain enough for Hollywood, but he’s honest and good to the core. Hollywood can be brutal to the good.
“He’s a rancher, Lia-girl. He belongs in a small town. Like the one you were raised in,” she adds, referring to our small town in Hawaii. “I’m not trying to burst your bubble, but you have some things to consider. You’ve been living on your own with only yourself to worry about for a long time now. Things have changed.”
“Are you calling me selfish, Mom?”
“There's nothing wrong with living a selfish life when you’re by yourself, but you’re not by yourself anymore. And isn’t that why you were unhappy in the first place? You were lonely living that kind of life. Don’t be mad because the thing that was making you unhappy is the very thing that you need to change.” She shrugs. “If you don’t want to make changes, that’s fine too, but you’d better figure that out soon. It’ll only get harder the longer you wait. You’re falling again, my girl, and so is he.”
She’s wrong, I’ve already fallen for Jaxon again, or maybe I never really fell out of love with him. Either way, I do need to figure things out. Despite what Jax said earlier about making things work with my life, can he really handle everything that goes with it? Will he grow to resent my profession? I mean, if I'm being honest, I’m even growing to resent my profession. I sigh and pull more weeds.
I sit on the porch swing with my warm cup of tea and my AirPod in. It’s late enough in the morning now that JulieAnn should be up. I call her, and when she answers, I tell her everything that happened with the paparazzo.
“At least you were able to delete the pictures,” JuliAnn says when I’m done with my story. “What a disaster that would have been.”
Yeah, only because she set up the ridiculous ruse in the first place.
“Well, darling,” she purrs. “It looks as though I need to speed things up on my end. If one paparazzo found you, it’s only a matter of time before more do. You’re going to have a full recovery from rehab by tomorrow, or at least that’s what every newsroom will be reporting.”
“I knew I could kick my habit,” I say dryly. “I just needed to follow the twelve-step program.”
“Oh, that’s golden, dear. Make sure you say that if anyone asks.”
I pull the tea bag string up and down in the hot water, seeping its contents. “So, I was thinking, what if we say that I was never actually in rehab? That it was a misunderstanding, and I just needed to get away. Or maybe we could say I went to a treatment center but only so I could have some privacy while I figured some things out.”
“Oh no, darling. Not unless you want everyone who was sympathetic to your recovery to suddenly turn on you. They’ll be downright pissed that you lied and will call you deceitful. And no one wants to come off as if they’re not appreciative of everything Hollywood has done for them. There’s no quicker way to end your career than to come off as ungrateful. It’s better to be on drugs, I assure you.”
I sigh, thinking of Jax and how disappointed he’ll be if I continue the lie—how disappointed I am in myself. “But misunderstandings happen all the time,” I urge.
“Now, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but don’t sink your ship right before you’re gliding into harbor. I’ve finally gotten a hold of Harry Wilson’s people, and we’re just trying to settle on a day and time for your reading. Enough nonsense talk. Be ready to get your caboose back in Hollywood as soon as I have it set.”
“Really?” My heart jumps a beat, and I set the cup of tea on the railing before I spill its contents. “Finally.” I’ve worked so hard for this interview: I’ve been cheated on by a fake boyfriend, gone through fake rehab that my real boyfriend isn’t pleased about, and even conquered my fear of heights. But it will all be worth it when I land the lead role.
“I’ll be ready.” Guilt washes over me like an old scratchy blanket. I’m being dishonest and not following through with what I told Jax. Maybe I’ll just come clean after I get the role. Then it won’t matter what the public thinks because I’ll be in the next Harry Wilson blockbuster, and my acting will speak for itself.
“I really admire everything you’ve done to land this role, sweetie. It proves that with the conviction you have to do what it takes, you’ll have a long-standing career in Hollywood. Okay, I have to go now. Careers to save, interviews to set up. Kisses.”