Love Me Again, Cowboy

his is your choice. Audrey and I don’t fit in your world.”

He’s just going to put everything on me? As if he’s so perfect? “No, you’re choosing not to fit in it. And don’t sit there and pretend that you’re Mr. Forthcoming. I know you’re keeping things from me. You told me just yesterday not to worry about it when I asked you what was still bothering you. And you didn’t tell me why you and your brothers seem at odds. You can blame me and my career all you want, but we both know you never planned to fully let me in. You didn’t eight years ago, and you won’t now.” He just stares at me and makes no attempt to correct me or to open up.

Rage fills my veins. “You’re the one sabotaging this relationship!”

I shove him out of my way and flee down the steps to my car. When I get there, I turn around. Jax has followed me out into the storm. The fat droplets fall between us, and I can’t tell if he’s crying or if it’s the rain falling from his face, but it doesn’t matter.

I yank the car door open. “At least you had the balls to do it in person this time,” I snap. I slide into my seat and drive away from Wyle Away Ranch and Jax for the last time. Before I reach the highway, hot tears fall freely. I hit the steering wheel and curse Jax’s name. How could he do this to us again? My thoughts go to Audrey, and my heart sinks as I realize I’ll probably never see her again. A sob racks my body, and I leave Bisbee the same way I arrived—hating Jaxon Wyle.

Chapter Twenty-Two

JAXON

I watch Malia’s car drive away in the pouring rain. Just like that the love of my life leaves, again. An old, familiar hurt resurfaces and burrows its way deeper and deeper into my heart. I was a fool to think that she might choose me over her career. And yes, maybe it wasn’t fair of me to give her an ultimatum, but what was the alternative? Live in secret with her? Teach Audrey that we have to live a lie so that Malia can be in a movie? She was willing to let the world think she’s a drug addict and that she’s dating a player. If she’s willing to do that, what will she be willing to do next time? Where does she draw the line?

And even with those justifications running through my mind, it takes everything I have not to run after her. I think about what she said about my sabotaging the relationship. She knew I was keeping things from her. Was I that obvious? She knows me well enough to tell? And is she right? Am I the problem? She’s right that I never intended to burden her with all of my Brittany drama. But that isn’t the same thing, is it? It’s not like I was trying to keep secrets. The rain pummels me as I contemplate my role in the breakup.

The door opens and Landon walks out holding a towel to me. I glance up and then back at my boots before walking up the steps of the porch. I take the towel and wipe my face.

He looks me over and shakes his head. “Well, aren’t you a sorry lookin’ sack of manure. Did you just do what I think you did?”

He couldn’t possibly understand. He doesn’t have the same responsibilities. “It was the right decision.” I wipe a traitorous tear before it can fall. “Hurts like the devil, but I can’t just think about myself.”

“So, you did it for Audrey?” Landon makes a humph sound. “From what I saw, our girl loves Malia, and I think the feeling is mutual.”

I twist the towel in my hands, water falls to the wood planked floor. “It’s not that simple. I have to be with someone who’s willing to put Audrey first—who’ll make decisions with me that’s in her best interest. Malia wasn’t doing that.”

Landon nods his head slowly. “Not that I was listening, but it sounded to me like you were telling her that dropping her career was the only decision she could make that would allow you two to be together. It seemed like you were telling her how it would be, rather than asking her opinion and discussing a way to compromise. If you’re looking for someone to make decisions with, then maybe you need to be more open with her.”

Irritated, I stand and walk a couple steps away before turning back to him, leaning on the railing. “You don’t understand. You’re not a father.”

“That may be true. But I do know a thing or two about relationships, and you don’t quit when things get hard.” He nodded to emphasize his point. “You also don’t get to choose your in-laws. Some of them are more than happy to inflict misery.” His gaze drifts in the direction of Coyote Glen. It used to belong to Kitty’s family.

“Um, are we still talking about me?”

Landon’s eyes snap back to me. “Yeah. Anyway, I know you’ve been making decisions for Audrey by yourself for a long time and that’s what you’re used to, but if you give Malia a chance to make decisions with you, she might just surprise you. Perhaps breaking up with her the first time there’s conflict isn’t the answer.”

A little gasp calls out from the door. We both turn our heads to see Audrey standing at the open doorway. A look of horror has painted her face white. “You broke up with Malia?”

Her hurt expression tears at my heart. I crouch in front of her. “Yes, baby girl. I’m sorry, I know you like her, but—”

She stomps a foot. “I love her. So do you, Daddy. I don’t want you to break up with her.”

I hold her little hand in mine. How can I explain it to her so that she’ll understand? “Yes, I do love her, but sometimes that’s not enough.”

Audrey’s lip quivers and she pulls her hand from mine. “You’re wrong. The prince and princess fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after.” Tears fall from her eyes. “She’s supposed to be my mommy!” She wipes her eyes. “I hate you!” She turns and runs back into the house.

I stand staring after her, not knowing what to say but feeling as if my whole world is unraveling. I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Jax,” Landon says placing a hand on my shoulder. He doesn’t say more. He doesn’t have to. He’s just letting me know he’s there for me.

The rain has lightened to a mist. “I’m going to check on the horses,” I say. “I need to—”

“It’s okay. Go walk it off. I’ll check on Audrey.”

I trudge away from the house feeling like a complete failure. In trying to do the right thing, I may have just ruined everything.

The next day I pour myself over ranch work. The one thing about being a rancher is that there is always work to be done. Audrey has refused to talk to me all day. She had Landon tell me that she’ll talk to me again when I bring Malia back. No matter how hard I work, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I screwed everything up. In trying to be responsible, I just ended making us all miserable. Landon’s words about giving Malia the chance to help find a solution with me keeps running through my mind. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. And Malia was right too, I never fully let her in. By not telling her about Brittany, I never gave her the opportunity to work things out with me. Now, all I want to do is beg her for a second chance at doing just that, but I’m sure there’s no way she would ever talk to me again after yesterday.