I expect Octavia to lose patience, grab her coat from me and go.
But she doesn’t. She always keeps surprising me.
“What do you need?” she asks me, her voice low, her eyes seeing right through me. She lifts a hand to my face, stroking my cheekbone. “I’m here. Just tell me.”
She makes it sound so easy.
“You’re like Emma…I whisper, “And you’re not.”
How many times did I think that since I met her?
Countless. In my wake, in my sleep, in my dreams.
“How so?”
I hesitate. But if it means she doesn’t leave right away… “You’re older than your years.”
She makes a face, her eyes luminous, her mouth quirking. “Older?”
Fuck, she’s pretty. “Strong. Determined. But not broken.”
“Was she broken?”
No. Never.
“Tell me about her. Now is the time.”
I can’t. Fuck, I can’t even breathe. If she’d just stay a bit longer…
She lowers her hand, slips it into mine. “Are you okay?” She tugs me toward the sofa, pulls me down, and I sink into the cushions gratefully. “Talk to me?”
Yeah. A light push. “I’m so fucking sorry,” I manage. “For the other night. And everything. I keep fucking up.”
“Matt.”
“I lost Emma… and it’s too soon. I’m not there yet. Fuck, I’m barely human. You of all people know it. I’ve been selfish. Rough. Not careful enough. With you.”
And would you look at that? Until now I could barely string three words together, and now I can’t shut the fuck up.
“You were fine,” she says. “The other night, in the kitchen? I… I liked it.” Her cheeks turn red, splashes of color that make the blue in her eyes deepen.
And that admission right there, it eases the weight on my chest, letting me breathe again.
“Look,” she says. “I should have told you I’d never done it before. And I’m an adult. I consented. I wanted it. Just…”
“I fucked up. I hurt you.”
“You did. But I’ll live.” She quirks another tiny smile, and I put an arm around her, unable to stop myself. She gasps, then relaxes against me.
“I fucked up. I’ll keep fucking up. My mind… isn’t in the right place. Not yet.”
Maybe never. And she needs to know this, because I’m gonna kiss her. Not sure I can stop myself, not when she’s so close all I can smell is warm, sexy woman, her tits pressing into my side and my arm circling her delicate back.
“I understand,” she says softly. She’s leaning closer, her arm snaking around my back, the other up my chest. I’m so fucking hard, I think my pants will explode at the crotch. “I’m not a virgin anymore. And I just…”
My mouth is on hers before she finishes her thought.
I groan, her taste flooding my senses, so fucking sweet. I push her down on the sofa cushions, bending over her, pressing between her legs, my dick drilling a hole through my jeans to get to her.