I wish I could see every single person around me survive and live happily. Too much to ask, huh? Must be. People around me have been falling like flies all my damn life, and it doesn’t matter what I do, how hard I try.
All useless.
“Hope you brought your swim trunks,” Asher says as he turns into Olin Park.
“You must be fucking kidding me.”
“Wanna swing by your place to grab them? Come on, man, what if Dakota is in the water and needs you to rescue her?”
I shake my head. “Dakota doesn’t like swimming.”
“And how do you know that?”
“I just do.” She said it once, and I filed it under my Dakota file. Now, how ridiculous is that, having a mental file for her?
For instance, I know she likes strawberry ice cream, that she hates classical music, that she loves collecting big watches, and gardening and oriental cuisine, and… and I like the fact she doesn’t like water. Water makes me uneasy, too.
“Come on, Z-man. Have some fun. Everyone will be in the water. You can swim. I’ve seen you.”
“So what? Doesn’t mean I enjoy it. I do lots of stuff I don’t like.”
“What are you talking about? It’s summer. The water’s refreshing.”
“As if you’re going to swim.”
“Damn right I am.”
Shit, he is serious. A few months ago he’d think twice about showing his scarred back to random strangers. Life with Audrey is good for him. He’s never been so relaxed before.
Doesn’t mean I have to be, though. Doesn’t mean I can.
The heat and humidity drown me as I walk through the park in my jeans, boots and T-shirt. Ash is dressed in shorts and sandals, the bastard.
We cross toward the lake. People sit on blankets, eating and talking and laughing, and kids run about, chasing each other. So much fucking joy.
What the hell am I doing here? I’m just about to tell Ash to forget it, turn around and leave, when I hear my name.
It’s Tessa. Of course. College students are on vacation. I can’t even imagine what it must be like, studying and dreaming of your future. All I’ve ever had is the now, the present, and that’s on the good days. The days when the past isn’t sucking me down.
“Zane.” She’s breathless and flushed, her blond hair caught in two pigtails, like a five-year-old. It makes me grin. “You came.”
“Looks like it.”
“Good job, Ash.” She is jumping up and down. Maybe five-year-old was an exaggeration. More like a three-year-old. “How did you get him to leave work for once?”
“Ty did it. I just picked him up.” Ash shrugs and looks around. “Where’s Audrey?”
“This way.” Tessa flicks her pigtails with her hands and skips toward the lake.
She fucking skips. Jesus.
Ash claps me on the back and bares his teeth at me. “Ready, man?”
Of course not. This is a royally bad idea. This is kindergarten, and I’m not in the mood for hide-and-seek, or whatever else is going on here.
Ash drags me along before I can sort out my thoughts. There’s a blanket on the grass with baskets and Tupperware, but everyone is in the water, as Asher predicted. I can see Audrey and Erin, splashing in the lake, and talking with a brunette I don’t know.
They look happy. They look like they’re having fun.