“It means you can’t see him again.”
A weird stab of pain goes through my chest. “He seems nice.”
“Have you ever met a hot guy who’s nice?”
Point. I hear what she’s saying. Keep your distance. Don’t trust the façade. It wouldn’t be the first time I got burned, as we all know.
Not sure though… not sure it’s not too late already. The memory of that smile, that face, that body, God…
“Remember your promise before you left.”
I sigh. “Look—”
“No men.”
I sigh deeper. “But—”
“You said it, girl. After the last debacle, you said you wanted time to yourself, to figure it all out.”
“I said that?”
“Ah-huh.”
“But how can I figure it out?” I pace the living room in agitated jagged lines, waving a hand in the air. “It’s me, isn’t it? I always go for the douchey ones. So how am I ever going to find the right guy, if it’s in me to choose the wrong ones?”
My tirade is met with silence.
“Better to try and get burned than never to try at all, right?” I continue. “Besides, we’re just talking, nothing more.”
“Hold up. Guys don’t just want to hang out and have coffee, okay? We established that long ago.”
“Boy Laws.” I rub at my forehead and the budding headache there.
“That’s right. If a guy seems interested in seeing you it either means he’s—”
>
“—gay and lonely or—”
“—wants into your panties,” she finishes.
Boy, don’t I wish Merc wants into my panties.
What does he want from me?
And more important still, what do I want with him when I apparently made myself a boy-free zone for the foreseeable future?
A ping on my phone tells me someone else is calling me, and that’s good, because I’m not sure I want Lin to convince me Merc is no good.
“Got to go. Talk soon!”
I hang up to take the other call, and I’m glad I did when I see that the person calling is my sister.
“Soph? Hey.” Cell phone pressed to my ear, I walk over to the window and look outside, at the street below, at the lit windows of the apartments across. The kitten stares at me from a safe distance, ready to run. Kitty doesn’t like me. “I’m here.”
“Cos.” Her voice is choked up, and my heart squeezes at the sound. “The chemo is killing him. I can’t…” She has to stop and I hang my head, wishing I could take the pain from her and carry it myself, wishing I could find a way to give her a happy ending. “I wasted so much time,” my sis whispers through the phone, and I can hear tears in her voice. “And now there’s no time left, and I don’t know how to say goodbye.”
I grip the phone harder. “No goodbyes yet. You have to hope for the best. Medicine does wonders nowadays.”