Dark Child (Wild Men 5)

“Oh my God.” I sink back down on my stool. “You can’t do this to me. I thought you held all the answers in the universe.”

“I do,” she says easily. “Once I’ve had my coffee. Same as you. Have your coffee, and it will come to you, you’ll see.”

But even with all the coffee in the world, I bet I’ll still have no answers at all.

Maybe leaving St. Louis in such a hurry was not my best idea. I sort of panicked at the thought of being dumped again.

Like preventive medicine, right? Cut the ties before they choke you. Besides, Soph said I was free to go, and I went, desperate to leave my new mistake behind and pretend it never happened.

At least you never slept with him, I told myself for the hundredth time, but it doesn’t reassure me. Didn’t sleep with him, didn’t kiss him, but in my dreams we did, many times over.

I feel as if I’m in a dream relationship with him. Living with him, having sex with him, worrying about him after I’ve gone to bed.

Dream relationship. Maybe I should put that as my Facebook status. God knows in real life I don’t have anything much going on.

I will change my life, though. I’ll find a full-time job, in an office someplace, get myself a cat, and then decide where to go from there.

Put the past behind me. Set goals.

Like, no boyfriends. This time for real.

Lin texts me with a line of angry and yelling emojis, followed by a terse ‘No way.’

Oops. I guess she doesn’t find my Facebook relationship update funny. ‘But it’s true,’ I text her back.

She calls me then. “Woman. Take that update off your page.”

“Lin...”

“I don’t give a shit if it’s true or not. You sound crazy.”

“I am crazy.”

“I know, babe. It’s why I love you, but—”

“What do dreams mean?”

“Come again?”

“If I keep dreaming of Merc, if I keep worrying in my dreams about him, what does it mean?”

A silence meets my question.

Just as I’m about to ask again, in case she didn’t hear me, she produces a strangled sound that could be laughter.

Or a choked howl of despair.

“Damn, girl,” she gasps into the phone. “What it means is that you’ve got it pretty bad for that boy. I hadn’t realized.”

I roll my eyes. “And what’s your prescription, Dr. Lin?”

“Damn if I know. Drink? Wait, I’ll come home soon, and we can drink together.”

Sounds like a plan.

Lin is late, so I pour myself a glass of the wine she keeps in the cupboard. Thing is, I don’t really want to get drunk. I’m not sure it would help.

I don’t know what could help with this ache inside, this need to see Merc again.