He frowns, gaze darting to the TV and away. “I dunno.”
The news playing is about a body found in a suburb, near a stream. They’re showing pics of the body, covered with a sheet, police swarming around it with dogs sniffing the ground. The light slants across the scene, the sun dipping low.
“Why don’t you go and grab some real lunch?” my sister says, shooting Merc a worried look. “Or you want to lie down? Maybe you caught a bug. Lots of that going around in hospitals.”
I don’t bother pointing out we’ve only been here for a day. But I could be wrong. Maybe hospital super bugs can get you down within hours. What do I know, right?
“Better yet,” my sister goes on, “why don’t you both go back home? In St. Louis.” She smiles at me tiredly. “Someone just decided to move and start anew. No time like now.”
“But you—”
“I’ll be fine, sis.”
“I don’t know.” I’m torn, looking between Merc who decidedly isn’t looking so good, and my sister who’s needed me for so long I can’t remember what it’s like to set my own priorities.
Like studying, finding my place.
And Merc.
Above all, Merc. I didn’t realize how important he’s become to me until I saw him almost drop to the floor a moment before. If he’s sick, I want to take care of him.
“Go. Shoo.” My sister’s smile widens, as if she can read my thoughts. She gets up from her seat. “Griffin will get better, we need to believe it. And I’ll be fine. I promise.”
I’m still bent over Merc who seems mesmerized by the TV images. What’s the matter with him? Never seen him like this.
Straightening, I go to her, hug her. “Okay,” I tell her. “But I’m not going anywhere.” I think about this. “Figuratively speaking. I’ll be around, if you need me. And if I move to St. Louis, I’ll see you more often, maybe? Have coffee together and talk about everything?”
“You bet.” She pulls away first, and on her gaze there’s a gleam of determination I’ve never seen before.
Suddenly my perspective shifts, and it’s not a matter of solid and shadow anymore, a matter of the one fading when the other is there, of existing to fill a gap.
We’re two,
we’re whole on our own.
For the first time in my life, I feel free.
“You sure you wanted to leave so soon?” Merc asks.
He insisted on driving back, and though I’d have rather taken the bus, seeing how shaken he seems, leaving his car in Memphis wouldn’t have been such a good idea.
He already looks better, though, as he throws his car into park in front of my sister’s building so I can go up and grab clean clothes and kitty.
Yeah, I decided it’s time for kitty to relocate, for many reasons.
One, my sis won’t be coming back yet.
Two, Griffin is allergic to cats, and if he’s moving in with my sister, with his defenses so low, the risk is too high.
And three, I’m going to have to go back and grab my stuff before I move to St. Louis and if Merc can look after her meanwhile… I shoot a text to my sister to let her know why her cat won’t be living with her anymore and get a heart emoji and an ‘Are you sure?’ question.
Not sure about anything, but I shoot an affirmative anyway.
“Kitty! Come here. Kit!” But she’s hiding somewhere, determined to make this as difficult as possible. “Come on, kitten.”
Merc comes inside as I gather my stuff, shoving it all into my suitcase, and just seeing him makes me smile.
“How can I help? Gimme that suitcase.”