Dark Child (Wild Men 5)

“No, Merc. Because I want to help him. And I want to help you, too.”

Blowing out a breath, I turn away. “Look, I did my online research too, okay? I know sometimes nightmares are caused by bad things that happened to people. But not to me, okay? You know me. I had a good childhood. I was always taken care of. You took care of me.”

Her face twists, and something in my gut wrenches. “Merc…”

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“We always tried to be around when you were little.”

“Tried? What do you mean, “tried”? You make it sound like there’s something you’re not telling me. Is there?”

“No, I’m not… Forget it.” She swirls her whiskey. I’m tempted to tell her it’s not brandy, but I’m uneasy. She’s avoiding my question. And then she says, “If you don’t tell me about your dreams, I’ll tell Mom. And Octavia.”

“You’re blackmailing me?”

“Sure am. What are big sisters for if not that, huh?”

Damn. She plays dirty.

“Then you go ahead and tell them, Ginger. If you wanna worry them over nothing, be my guest.”

She scowls at me. Looks just about as threatening as the kitten. “Why, Merc? Why won’t you talk to me?”

Good question. Why am I refusing? What the hell have I got to gain by keeping this to myself? I should talk it out, make her tell me whatever she’s not telling me, figure this out.

But I don’t wanna do this, I realize.

Not without Cos.

My mind balks at trying to analyze this thought. Hey, I don’t need to hide behind my girlfriend, okay? I can face my fears. So what’s this shit, Merc?

But the nightmares feel like something bigger than, I dunno, a childhood trauma like falling off a bike or losing a toy. If something happened… A body. Blood. An ax I tattooed on my fucking back, this sense of drowning, and the bogeyman.

Who is he? What the hell happened?

I need her there. I need to see her before I plunge into this, like seeing the person you love before a serious surgery or traveling abroad. Just in case.

In case, what? I lose my mind?

Jesus fuck. Maybe I’ve gone around the bend already.

Gigi isn’t happy with me when she leaves.

That’s fine. I’m not happy with me, either. Or with the nightmares. Why won’t they leave me the hell alone, huh? Go haunt someone else.

Though I wouldn’t wish this shit on anyone.

My head fucking hurts. Booze probably isn’t helping with that, and… I’m dog-tired. I wanna sleep, and I don’t wanna dream. I need… I’ve no clue what I need at this point. My body hurts, my head is a constant throb, and when I look down I sometimes see the body and the blood spreading.

I need Cos.

JC comes home, nods at me and goes to his room—to study? Watch porn? Who knows?—and still no sign of Cos.

I pull out my phone. What if I shot her a text, asking her to come home now? Telling her I need… I need her. Now. Would she come?

Fuck, no. I put the phone down. I’m okay. What the hell’s the matter with me today, huh? Then I shove the phone deep inside my pocket, for good measure.

Good thing, too, because she rings my doorbell a few minutes later. That would’ve been fucking embarrassing.