Dark Child (Wild Men 5)

Lin’s rules don’t have an order, numbers, or cohesion. They’re life tidbits she gathered on the way to me and is freely handing out whenever she feels they’re needed.

It doesn’t matter. The rules don’t matter. And I especially don’t care if Steve wants a second chance.

Putting my phone down, I head out of the bathroom and straight to the door. I open it, and take in the sight of my ex.

Boy it’s been a while. I stare at his washed-out blue eyes, his dark scruff, his arrogant smile when he sees me, and I feel sick.

I wanted that? Seriously? I can’t recall why.

“Go away,” I tell him, and start to close the door in his face.

He sticks his foot in the opening before I manage. “We should talk, you and I.”

“No, we really shouldn’t.” But I opened the door for a reason, so here goes. “Stay away from me, Steve. I don’t want to see you again.”

His eyes bulge a little. “Oh, you grew a spine sometime between the last time I saw you and now? That’s okay, I like them feisty.”

And he grabs for me, manages to snag my arm and yanks me out of the apartment.

“What are you doing?” I push at him, cold sweat beading on my forehead. “Stop!”

“You want me, Cosima. Don’t pretend.”

“I’m not pretending! I won’t be around for you to screw whenever you feel like it—dammit, let me go!”

“Cos?” Lin tugs on my other hand from inside the apartment. “Let her go, you ass.”

“You wanted me before,” Steve says.

“Well, things change. I learned my lesson.”

“Did you now? I’m willing to take you back. I’m doing you a favor. Who will want you except for me?”

“Take me back? Who asked you to do that?” God, is he for real? “I don’t want you back, not even if you crawled all the way from your apartment here. I don’t need you, Steve, I don’t want you, and I sure as hell don’t love you. So take a hike.”

He stares and finally lets me go. “Holy hell, you sure have changed.”

“Yeah, I’m not a doormat for you to walk over anymore. Surprise.” I slam the door in his face, at long last.

It’s as if a weight has lifted off my shoulders. Not because I ever kidded myself that Steve was the man of my life, but it sure stung when he kicked me out and told me nobody would ever want me.

Merc wants me. Merc says I’m pretty.

And I feel pretty now, I feel wanted. Funny how finding the right person can change how you see yourself. Maybe someone might say I should have saved myself first. Found out for myself that I’m pretty enough, good enough, and not wait for Merc to convince me.

But the truth is, nobody’s an island. We all need people around us who will lift us up and keep us smiling.

A person can really change your life. The right person.

Lin is asking if I’m okay, asking if I want to file a restraining order for Steve, but all I want is to grab my phone and call.

I need to hear Merc’s voice.

But Merc isn’t answering his phone.

“Pick up, pick up…” I mutter, pacing Lin’s bedroom. “Come on, Merc…”

My first reaction is to think he’s ignoring my call, and yeah, I need to get rid of those insecurities. I love him. I trust him. He wouldn’t do that.