No Saint (Wild Men 6)

“Told you before, but you’re not listening, are you?” What he thinks I listen to as I’m being beaten to a pulp is anybody’s guess. He says, “Join us. Be who you were. Be our leader.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Your leader in what?”

“We have a plan to make money.”

I draw on my cigarette to avoid decking him. “The fuck you’re talking about? You make money working a job, same as everyone else.”

“Do you wanna be stuck in this backwater forever? Don’t you think about escaping? We need cash to get away, go to the big city, start a new life.”

No. I don’t know what the hell I’ll do. Ride away. Or... end it.

“You’re gonna do something amazingly stupid, aren’t you?” I mutter. “You stupid fuck.”

“Careful, Jones.”

I laugh incredulously. “Or what?” I wanna howl and leap at him, plant my fist into his ugly mug. “You lead them if that’s what you want. Aren’t you just dying to?”

“Come on. You were the prince of bullies. Still are. You taught us all we know. You—”

“I didn’t teach you anything worth saving, you jackass. And above all, I didn’t fucking teach you to attack girls, use them as bait.” Anger flows through me like fire, and it feels good to feel something other than despair. “You learned nothing.”

He frowns. “And what was the lesson, exactly?”

“People grow up, Ed. They realize their bullshit and try to change. Become better. Ever thought of that?”

Luna’s words, coming back to me. Resonate with me, through the black cloud hanging over my head.

“We don’t wanna become better,” he sneers. He likes sneering, that fucker. “We want a better life.”

“Starting a new life doesn’t require big cash or a big city. Just a change of heart.”

“It requires pussying out, you mean, like you did?”

“Shut your hole. You don’t understand shit.”

Truth is, I don’t know if I’ve had a change of heart. The clues of my ruined life tell me I haven’t managed the change, the transformation. I’m still a fucking caterpillar, crawling in the mud.

“Not sure you understand, Ross. Either you walk with us, or we take you down.”

“Take me down then.” I fling my cigarette away and open my arms wide. “What are you waiting for?”

“Not the way you think.”

Whatever the hell that means.

“What, you thought of a better way than beating me bloody to work out your frustrations? You choose today to fuck with me of all days.” I shove at him. “Come on. Come at me.”

But Ed swears and pushes the idiots back, not letting them tackle me. “Work with us,” he insists, arms folded over his chest, head cocked sideways. “Lead us. We need someone like you.”

“You got guts coming to tell me this after ganging up on me and beating me up once every few days. You grew bored of your new hobby, huh?”

Though if that means they’ll leave Luna alone, leave me alone, who am I to complain?

“It’s a cordial invitation, Ross Jones.” He performs a mocking bow. “Doesn’t change the fact we’ll bust your balls and bash your face in if you don’t play along. Or...” He waggles his caterpillar brows. “Or touch that girl you seem to like so much. How about that?”

Son of a motherfucking bitch. I’ll throat punch the fucker. Red descends over my vision, and I find myself flying at him, fists raised. I catch him by surprise and get a few hits in before his goons grab me and haul me back.

Ed wipes blood from a split lip. He glares at me.