Fuck. I kick at the school fence, then again for good measure, before walking on, trying to ignore the pressure in my chest and the shaking in my arms.
“Come,” Gigi suddenly says, grabbing my elbow and pulling me in the other direction.
Where is she going? That’s not where the bus stop is.
I let her lead me away, because I don’t wanna talk, or think, and the feel of her hand on me calms me as much as it excites me. Either way, it keeps the demons at bay. She always casts that spell on me. I stare at her blond ponytail bouncing as she leads me determinedly away from the school, from our predetermined path, toward the unknown.
***
She takes me to a small diner I’ve only ever passed outside but never entered before. Inside it smells of coffee, melted cheese and fried bacon, and when she drags me to a table in the back, I follow, my sleep-deprived brain stuck on the brightness of her hair and the shape of her so close, so fucking close to me.
I can’t process the fact that I’m here, with her, when five minutes ago I was sinking in the spinning eddy of my dark thoughts.
I force myself to sit down, moving away from her, breaking the lifeline of her touch. “What the hell are we doing here?”
“Having coffee.” She says it like it’s the most natural thing in the world. She lifts a hand to stop my protests when I open my mouth. “I’m teaching you
how friendship works, okay? Let me do the honors.”
What is she talking about?
Amusement creeps through my dark mood when she waves at the waitress and then proceeds to order coffee and pancakes for both of us. Taking charge. Sort of...controlling me, mothering me, like I’m a baby.
She’s so damn cute, and yeah, when she shrugs off her coat and tugs on her sweater, my eyes dip to her cleavage.
Can’t fucking help myself. I love looking at girls, love their tits and their curves, their smooth skin and their smell, but I’ve never felt as helpless as with her.
That should have been my warning, but it got lost in all the bad swimming around in my head.
“Hey, Rett.” She smiles. “You like pancakes, don’t you?”
She keeps calling me that annoying nickname that I like hearing when it comes from her.
This is nuts.
“I’ll feed you at least.” She sighs, props her chin on her hand and gazes at me. “What is it with you boys that you don’t like it when people try to take care of you? Merc won’t let me look after him, won’t let me help him, but at least I’ll look after you.”
“I don’t need looking after,” I scoff.
But I can’t meet her gaze when I say it, cuz I like her being here, talking to me, and I’ll be damned before I admit it.
The waitress pours us tall mugs of coffee and then brings the pancakes and bacon, and I dig in, suddenly famished.
I’ve inhaled two pancakes and going for a third, when I catch sight of her making faces at me, showing me her teeth full of pancake.
I can’t help it. I give a sharp bark of laughter. “What the fuck are you doing?”
She chews thoughtfully, and swallows. “Did you notice that doing what others tell you to do doesn’t always work out?”
I lift a questioning brow at her, taking a huge bite of pancake.
“Like, everyone tells you that you should eat with your mouth closed. But have you noticed that if you eat with your mouth open, everything tastes so much better?”
I look into her wide eyes and laugh. I laugh so hard I almost choke on the pancake. And then I laugh some more when she snickers.
This girl will be the death of me. And man, what a way to go.
Chapter Six