My big, bad caveman is the best man in the world, not to mention the sexiest, too, and he loves me. I’m so lucky to have him by my side.
Now if only I can make sure my big, bad half-brother is okay so that I don’t have to worry about him… life would be perfect.
* * *
Cole peeks inside the bedroom as I place folded dresses and sweaters inside my suitcase. “You’re leaving, too?”
There’s apprehension in his blue eyes. It tugs at my heart.
“Come here.” I sit down on the bed and pat the space beside me. “Sit with me?”
He nods and climbs up on the bed. He’s still so small, though he had a growth spurt last year, and his baby cheeks are all gone now. I put my arm around his thin, narrow shoulders and tug him to my side.
“You’re going back home?” he asks.
“My home is here, now. With you, and Mary, and Matt.”
“And the baby?”
I put my other hand over my stomach. It’s startling to feel the small bump, to know there’s a living person in there, dependent on me. “Yes. And the baby.”
“What is his name?”
I laugh. “How do you know it’s a boy?”
Cole’s eyes go round. “Don’t you? Like you know I’m a boy. Can’t you also tell he is one?”
I blink at him. “That’s… interesting logic,” I whisper, amused and somehow touched, and exasperated all at once. “But I can’t see the baby, so I don’t know yet if it is a boy or a girl.”
“Well, I do. It’s a boy, and he is my brother.”
Aw shucks. The way he says it… My eyes sting, and I haul Cole closer, mashing his small face to my boob. “Yeah.”
Inhaling Cole’s fresh scent of shampoo and child, I remember when I first saw him, held in his father’s arms. So tiny, and curious, and soft, and sad. He’s grown now, and he almost never has that sad look in his blue eyes anymore. I’m so glad for that.
“Are you happy, Cole?” I allow him to pull back a little, to breathe. “With me?”
“I love you, Tati,” he says, his little boy voice ringing with honesty, that uncomplicated childish fervor in his expression.
“Love you too, baby.”
He’s never called me Mom, nor Mary, and I never thought to ask them that. Their mom is in heaven. I just hope I replaced her in all the ways that count, and that they will keep turning to me for affection and help as they grow older.
“How long will you be away?”
“Just a few days.” I kiss the top of his dark head, the color of Matt’s hair, my hair. I wonder if my baby will have my color, too.
“Can I come, too?”
“You have school. Another time.”
“Are you coming back?”
I frown down at him. “Of course we’re coming back. Did you think we wouldn’t?”
He shrugs. But yeah, it looks like he did.
He burrows closer to me. “I don’t want you to go.”